Random Ramblings

Said it before...

2008-07-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

I know I've posted this before.
And last time I returned.
But this time, I mean it.

Farewell blogger!
You've been a great blogging site, but it's time for me to move on to bigger and better things.

Okay...not truly.
But I am taking my blog over to Wordpress...again.

I know, I know.
I said I liked the simplicity of blogger...and I do.
But, wordpress allows so much more that blogger doesn't.
So, I'm moving my blog back to Wordpress and this time I'm staying!

If you still want to keep up-to-date, here is my new link.
Although, it's very possible my sister is the only one who reads this blog. ;)

Incredibly Touching

2008-06-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, my younger sister was recently involved in a very serious ATV accident. Fortunately, she is alive & recovering, but it could have been life altering, if not worse.

Anyway, a co-worker of my dad and sister, wrote a blog about Laura that I just felt had to be shared. He cares for her a lot and they have always had a special bond. Probably all started when Laura, in second grade, told him to quit smoking. And he did.

His words touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Rich

Where to begin.........

A week ago, I witnessed one of those life changing experiences, which happened in a big way, to a very dear friend of mine.

I work at a fairly small sign and graphics company, we are a tight knit group, and most of us have worked together for years.
In my case, I have been working off and on with Martin (the owner) for the last 23 years, which is incredible.

The company is definitely a family affair.
Martin is the president and owner of the company, his wife works part time doing books and office work, and his daughter Laura has been working there for the last few years in the graphics department.

She runs a couple of the vinyl and large format print machines, and whenever I go out on an install, I take her along, she is an exceptional installer!

I have known Laura "for ever", and since she was just a little babe, she has always been glued to me. Though there are many years between us, we are the best of friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Plus, we make a good team. I have the years of experience, and she has that wide eyed youthful exuberance which I find to be a wonderful change, especially since the rest of us are old and jaded.

Ok, I am wandering.

On Saturday of the Memorial Day weekend, Laura was involved in an accident which could easily have ended her life. She was on the back of a ridiculously souped up 4 wheeler, riding with her boyfriend, when he got sloppy at the controls and flipped the ATV.

Laura was wearing a helmet, and was thrown from the vehicle landing some distance away where she sustained damage to her pelvis in at least 2 areas.

She crushed the left Anterior Inferior Iliac Spine (that large part of the pelvis/hip just under the skin that looks like an ear made of bone on a skeleton), and also suffered a break at the Sacroiliac Joint.

It could have been far worse. Her boyfriend, an ex Marine and a few others who were involved in the accident panicked and actually moved her instead of leaving her with a person and getting help.
One of them left, found someone with a small car up the road, loaded her into the back seat, and drove her to a hospital in Shelton Wa., on the Olympic peninsula.

Unbelievable.

Who moves a person after they have been in a serious accident???

After she arrived at the hospital in Shelton, it was determined that they needed to medevac her to Harborview hospital in Seattle.

Laura at the hospital, a day or so after the surgery she underwent to stabilize her pelvis.
The surgeons drilled into both sides of her pelvis, inserted metal rods which are now screwed and bolted to an external rod which runs across her lower belly to keep both halves of the pelvis aligned so they heal correctly. She was in a great deal of pain, and very dizzy when I took this shot.

So it goes without saying, when Laura gets injured, we not only lose Laura, we lose Martin and his wife, all three of them, which has been the case for a week now. A nightmare situation for the rest of us, but all I really care about is getting my friend healed, and well again.

The doctors state it will be 6-8 weeks before the rods are removed, then there will be extended physical therapy for another month or two.

Hard to be mindful and patient, I want her well NOW!

Not What I Had in Mind

2008-05-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day Weekend brings to mind images of trips to the lake, camping, hiking, playing croquet on a nice velvet green lawn while waiting for the BBQ to heat up, toasting marshmallows over an open fire, laughing deep into the night, and spending time with family and friends. It's the welcoming of warmer weather, the celebration of the beginning of summer. At least, it is for some people.

This Memorial Weekend, I took work off early on Friday and headed down to Portland to play in a soccer tournament all weekend long. We had games scheduled for Saturday thru Monday. Nobody goes home early in this tournament. The drive down was fairly uneventful. There was traffic, of course, but nothing too depressing. We made pretty good time and checked into our hotel around 5:30pm. Not too bad for a 2pm departure. After settling into our room, Carrie, Kara, and I headed out to get some dinner. We wandered across an abandoned parking lot/hotel, passed under I-5, and crawled through hole in the fence to make our way safely to the shopping area. Sound creepy? It was. I'm pretty sure drug deals happen in the shadows here late at night.

Saturday morning came and we played two games, losing 2-0 both times. I actually played sweeper both games...can't believe that one, as I've always been outside mid or forward. Surprisingly, I enjoyed myself and would even play back there again. After our games were done for the day, we headed to Downtown Portland to watch the Portland Timbers take on the Vancouver soccer team (honestly don't know their team name).

About 10 minutes after the second half started, I received a phone call from home. I answered, assuming my mom just had some random update to share. I only wish. Instead I heard this, "Laura's been in an accident." Immediately my eyes got big and my heart started racing.

Apparently, she and her boyfriend had been on their way back to his grandparent's cabin on his quad when the accident happened. When he tried to slow down to maneuver the curve in the road, the quad fish-tailed throwing them both off of it. Laura landed hard on her left side and later learned that her pelvis had been broken in the fall. Beau walked away with just a bruise (although it's pretty swollen and painful), but she was airlifted to Harborview. Being the thrill-seeker that she is, she requested to be awake for take-off, so she'd at least remember her first helicopter ride.

Broken pelvis? No big deal for my sis!

I'm sad that she's hurt. :(

Mom decided her hair needed attention.

She has to wear these air-casts on her calves to keep circulation in her legs.

She's doing well, but is getting frustrated with waiting for so long. Originally, her surgery was supposed to happen Sunday morning, but she keeps getting bumped since she's not considered critical (i.e. doesn't have a tube down her throat). Plus, she's an ortho case, so they figure they can always re-break her bone if they need to in order to perform her surgery. Sad day! :(

Definitely not the way I wanted to spend the 3-day weekend. I know it's not what she had in mind.

Of course, in my family, the drama doesn't end with just one sibling. I had driven home Sunday morning from my weekend of soccer to be there for my baby sis in the hospital. So that night, I decided to spend the evening at my parent's home in Snohomish. My mom and I enjoyed a nice long respite in the hot tub and then settled into the basement with some coconut cream pie and a Billy Crystal movie. We were about halfway done with our pies, when the phone rang. Assuming it was Laura, my mom got up and answered it while my dad and I continued watching the movie. There was no one on the other line, so my mom hung up. Seconds later the phone rang again and still no one was on the receiving end. The phone rang a third time and finally someone was there. And it wasn't Laura like we all thought. Nope. This time it was D. And she was hysterical.

She had decided to cook hash browns at 10:30 at night. Don't ask me why, this is just D's way. She left the pan of oil on the burner and walked into her bedroom to change & check her e-mail. A few minutes passed and she started hearing a popping sound. She exited her bedroom to investigate and saw flames curling out from under the lid of her pan and licking the top of her stove. She attempted to pour salt on the increasing blaze, but to no avail. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of lifting the lid on the pan. The flames leaped out of the pan of burnt oil and climbed their way up her microwave & cabinets. She called for help and a nearby neighbor rushed to her aid with a fire extinguisher, but it was too late. The sprinklers came on and began flooding her kitchen and the tenants below her. In the end, 3 fire trucks arrived, a fire & rescue truck, and she displaced the people living below her on the 2nd and 1st floor.

The remains of her kitchen.

All in all, it could have been a lot worse. It just needs a little TLC and she'll be back in there whipping up cookies to thank her neighbors for being so understanding. ;)

But then again...they may want her to stay away from the stove for the time being.

My only thought, "I'm sure glad the weekend is over!"

Rest for the Weary

2008-05-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I came home exhausted. I didn't fall asleep until 1AM the night before & was awoken throughout the night by my obnoxious kitties, which didn't help my REM sleep at all.

Consequently, when I arrived home yesterday at 4:30, I decided a quick nap was in order to re-energize my body so I would be able to function for the rest of the night. I curled up on my ridiculously soft L-couch and immediately melded into the cushions. With my down blanket pulled tightly around my shoulders and face, I quickly fell into a deep slumber. When I awoke, I thought maybe an hour had passed, but was horrified to see the clock mocking me with a blinking 7:58. I had already missed more than half of my bible study, so going to that was officially out. Now, I was left with the question "What to do?" as all my plans had been thrown into upheaval.

So I decided to continue resting. I relaxed by reading and watching Grey's Anatomy & The Office. Not how I originally envisioned my night, but definitely what I needed.

This of course got me thinking. Why is our society so against rest?

In today's world, it's so easy to get caught up in the go-go-go of things and neglect the fact that our bodies need rest. I mean, geez! God even made a day specifically devoted to rest, yet we still can't sit still. We are always dialed in. Be it on the phone, text messaging, emailing, surfing the net (i.e. facebook/myspace), playing video games, or watching our favorite shows...it seems like technology follows us everywhere. I was at the movies a few weeks ago and sitting next to me was a couple in their mid-forties having a night out. However, what saddened me was that neither one of them was acknowledging the other. There were no entertaining slides up on the movie screen, so instead of engaging in conversation, they were both on their I-phones; checking email or reading the news. Whatever they were doing, it was solitary...with the illusion of being social. Because, hey! We like to think that e-mail keeps us connected or facebook & myspace friends are "real", but it really takes a lot away from relationships...making them simply impersonal.

Anyway, these were just my thoughts last night. And it's something I try not to become to consumed with. I enjoy talking face to face so much more than over the phone or the web. I love going out in nature & being active with my friends. And I try to leave my cell phone behind whenever I get a chance. Because I don't want to be dependant on it. In fact, I loathe the idea of becoming one of those people who feels naked when their phone is more than ten feet from their side. Or who can't go on vacation anywhere that doesn't have a television or cell service.

So please, embrace rest! Make time to just be still. To talk to God. To venture outside without your cell phone, iPod, or laptop. To have coffee with a friend. Or even, simply to catch up on much needed sleep. Most importantly, rest in the Lord.

Green Lake Freezing? Impossible!

2008-04-25T07:59:00.001-07:00

But it has happened...check it out here. I'm jealous & only wish this would happen in my lifetime.

Image of ice skaters on Green Lake in 1930.
Can you imagine? It was 13 inches thick!!

Driving Distraction

2008-04-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

While driving home from work yesterday, I had one of those random "I wonder..." thoughts.

I was driving along I-5 across the ship canal bridge and it struck me, "I wonder if anyone has ever flipped over the guard rail and plummeted to the ground/water below." Morbid, I know. But I was driving in the outer lane, the one that exits to UW and I was eyeing the view, then the water, and then the dangerously low height of the rail. I thought about getting into an accident, which led me to dangling precariously off the edge, and then to falling.

Crazy how the mind jumps from one scenario to the next, all the while remaining delicately linked to the original thought.

More Creations

2008-04-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

I know all of you (the 3 people that read my blog) have been waiting for another stunning (sarcasm) Photoshop design. So, without further ado, I present my two latest and greatest (or not). ;)

One I had help with from a tutorial. The other I created on my own.

Contemplating & Just a Smidge of Wallowing

2008-04-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I'm happy being alone. It's time I use to reacquaint myself with...myself. To spend time talking to God or just doing absolutely nothing. I'm content just curling up with a good book, going for a solitary run, or just enjoying a homemade dinner while watching a sappy chick flick. I'll covet my quiet time and often become stressed when I'm not getting any. But sometimes, just sometimes, I get frustrated with it all. And I become slightly depressed as I examine my life...or lack of one depending on my frame of mind at the time. Right now is one of those times.

Lately, I've been feeling what has been the story of my life. The fact that I don't have any close girl friends. Sure, everyone claims they like me or whatever, but when it actually comes down to hanging out...well I've just never been one of those girls that other girls want to invite out. I'm the one they talk to in class, at church, in bible study, or at soccer games. But the relationships never extend beyond that. And I don't know why. Sure, people will claim they want to hang out, but more often then not it's just empty words. With no follow-through. And it's starting to wear on me. I begin to tear myself down and assume untruths about myself and my personality. Or maybe they are truths and I'm just in denial. I just want to know what it is about me that keeps other people from wanting to get to know me...to be my friend. Do I keep people at a distance? Possibly. But for the most part it's because rejection always ensues when I put myself out there. And I know, I know, I shouldn't care what others think. I should only care about God's opinion. But it is so hard sometimes. And my old insecurities always resurface and I battle them and try to overcome them. But sometimes, when I'm all alone, they win the fight.

I know I have a lot of things going for me and have no reason to be envious of the relationships I see other girls having. But I am. Even if I try to tell myself I don't need it. But the company of guys just isn't the same as a close female confidant.

I'm happy. I truly am. And incredibly blessed with a small core group of people who really care about me. But sometimes this is how I feel.

Accidental Collision?

2008-04-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning started out calm and full of promise. I was out the door at 6:48 and there wasn't a spot of traffic on the road. I turned onto the road in front of my work and still had 3 minutes until 7. What would I do with this rare free time? Go to Starbucks and get a warm drink? The thought crossed my mind and if only I had heeded that fleeting thought. Instead, I decided to go straight to work. I put my blinker on, slowed down to a stop, and waited for the bicyclist and lone motorist to pass me by so I could make my left hand turn. Right as I was about to begin my turn I was jolted out of my seat. I let out a cry of rage and an "Oh no you didn't!"

Yes, he did. A taxicab had run into my rear passenger side bumper & tire. Obviously not looking at the road, he had made an extremely wide right-hand turn out of the parking lot to my right. Instead of turning into the near lane, he turned right into me - in the inside lane! So, I spent my free minutes pulling over, exchanging my information and gathering his, all the while trying to understand what he was saying. He didn't want to involve the police or insurance companies. Yeah right! Like I'm just going to hope he pays me back...sure. He seemed nice enough. And gave me his insurance and contact information willingly. But I contacted my insurance company and filed my claim. I told them he wanted to pay out of pocket & that I was going to give him the opportunity to do so (with a cashier's check or something equally legit). I took my car in, got the estimate, and began the repairs - all on Wednesday. The estimate currently stands at $1200. I called him & informed him of the price - on his answering machine. I waited. And waited. He called late Wednesday night & said he wanted to meet to discuss things. Okay...fine. But I'm bringing my dad along.

So, at noon yesterday I went to the Starbucks to meet him. My dad and I waited for over half an hour & decided that was ample time for him to show up. So I called my insurance company and told them to proceed with handling the situation. Later in the day, I saw I had a missed call & a new text message. Both from this guy. He called almost 2 hours after our scheduled meet & greet and left a voice mail that I am certain is in a different language...possibly cussing me out. That part I couldn't tell. The text said to "Call ****". But I feel like I have accommodated him enough and now it just comes down to the fact that I want my car repaired. I gave him 2 days and feel that that was more than generous. I could have simply said no and gone straight to his insurance company, but I didn't. I gave him a little time. But the fact is, I can't wait forever because I need my car fixed & I need to make sure I'm not footing the bill. Especially since I wasn't at fault in the situation.

I have always had a certain phobia towards Seattle taxicabs. They always appear to drive erratically and I fear I'll get hit every time I'm stuck next to one.

Now I know that it was a healthy fear.

I feel bad that I'm hurting this guys driving record, but insurance is there for a reason...right?

Please let me hear some feedback...if only for my peace of mind! :)

YouTube, Work, and Google mistakes

2008-04-17T08:22:00.001-07:00

Two days ago, I was busy at work as usual. Okay, maybe not busy per say, but I was working. And had been for a couple of hours and took the liberty of offering myself a break. An internet break. I chose to use this glorious free time by searching a few things on Google. I went to the Google homepage and carefully entered in my search keyword, hopeful for a positive find. Score! Lots of links came up. I read the various descriptions before selecting the one that appeared most promising. It said it was "race for the cure". Perfect. Just what I wanted. Or was it?

Remember, I'm at work!

The link opened in a new tab. Immediately, I knew this was exactly where I didn't want to be. It looked like a YouTube page...but instead of having age-friendly videos it was filled with the exact opposite. Somehow, my Race for the Cure sight had turned into "Racy for the Cure" (not the actual site name). Needless to say, I rushed to close the window down. However, that wouldn't work. In desperation, I hurriedly pushed the power button on my computer tower and anxiously waited for it to power off. All the while hoping none of my co-workers walked into my office.

Talk about a stress-filled 3.5 seconds!

Thoughts of This and That

2008-04-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

A collection of random thoughts...

***

Each month I think "I'm going to be better at posting on here. I'm going to increase my blog posts with each passing month. So...last month I posted 4, which means my goal this month is 5!" And so my mind spins round and round. And each month I find myself dejected as I approach the last week of the month and only have 3 or 4 blog posts. Why does it matter if I post 2 or 25? It shouldn't. But I'm competitive to a fault and can't help but turn everything into a competition. Even if it's just between me, myself, and I.

***

Today is my little sister's birthday and I can't believe she's 23 already! Honestly it seems like just yesterday we were 8 and 10. Riding our bikes around the neighborhood, making up rollerblade routines in our neighbor's carport with our boom box blasting the Lion King CD. I mean, we had to have music to plan our routines to and who wouldn't choose the Lion King? Other memories of those days include spying on our big sis from our not-so-secret secret hide-out, playing paper dolls in my room - forever fearful that Darcie or my mom would catch us in the act, and who could forget our drawn-out Christmas Eve ping pong matches?

Sadly, those youthful days have passed and we are now in our twenties. All three of us "King girls". (It's okay for me to use the "girls" phrase) Sometimes I wish for what used to be. The carefree days and lazy summer afternoons. But it's also fun to watch how we have each transformed from child to adult. The child in us still rears its' head on occasion, but a little more subtly than before.

So I will send a shout out to my sister...not that she reads my blog, but still. Happy 23! ;)

***

I'm getting back in the groove. Slowly, but surely. I'm working at being more consistent in reading the bible and spending time journaling in my prayer journal. I used to be really good about writing in it, but then something happened. I started dating this guy and he began stealing away my moments alone and I let it slip. My entries became fewer and fewer, until one day I opened it back up and saw that my last entry was from 3 months ago and the one preceding that was several months back too. Of course, I knew this was unacceptable, so I am trying to be better about taking 15-30 minutes a day to sit with God. To listen. To hear. To reflect. To talk. It is so important and necessary to my life. And I know that when I take this quiet time, I'm so much more prepared to face the day.

***

Side note: I'm going to Disneyland in May! I'm super excited because I'm going with my family and my dad hasn't been back since I was in first grade. The park has changed so much & I'm excited to experience all the "new" rides with him. :)

Fact of Life

2008-04-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes sweatpants, a heating pad, sappy chick flick, and a pint of chocolate ice cream are just necessary for a girl to indulge in.

Not to mention a good cry for no reason at all. That is simply imperative.

What the ...?

2008-03-28T14:16:00.001-07:00

Snow?

In Seattle?

In late March?

Yeah...enough said.

Happy-Sad

2008-03-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to come up with something profound to post, but just can't do it right now. Probably because I'm physically drained from cleaning my house. Yeah, I'm a bit of an obsessive neat-freak. I just can't stand sitting on the couch reading or watching TV when the room is in disarray. And in my definition of disarray I mean: thin layer of dust on the coffee table, a jacket tossed on the chair, and mail piled haphazardly. But, in my defense, someone (cough) Ryan (cough) had tracked dirt onto my hardwood floor, so that had to be dealt with. It was simply necessary. That only spurred me on to dusting, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping, and investigating every nook and cranny of my house for debris. ;)

Anyway, I've decided to give you a list of things that make me happy, as well as sad.

Happiness...
1. A bowl piled high with mint-chocolate chip ice cream, accompanied by my special ice-cream spoon (yes, I have my very own)
2. Sunny Seattle days
3. Playing soccer on sunny Seattle days
4. Winning at anything, particularly if I get to beat Ryan or my mom
5. The smell of lilacs during spring
6. Freshly mowed lawn
7. Finally being able to afford the shoes I've been eyeing for months
8. Traveling with my sis...Europe? Again? Why not!
9. Cuddling up in front of a fire with a good book
10. Running 3 miles without having to walk or slow down
11. Waking up to the sound of birds chirping and sunlight streaming through my window
12. Campfires & S'mores
13. Red wine, chocolate mousse, and a street cafe
14. Painting my nails a shocking pink or sparkly red
15. Knocking someone over when playing soccer and not getting called for a foul
16. Scoring a goal...or two...or three in one game
17. Watching a corny movie with my family
18. Rollerblading on Alki
19. The crinkling sound an old book makes when you open it
20. Singing off-key at the top of my lungs

Sadness...
1. Learning that a friend is going through a tough time
2. Curling my hair only for it to fall flat
3. Losing my favorite earring - but only one, not the entire pair
4. Spilling coffee or chocolate on my new jeans
5. Losing a button on my coat
6. Finishing the final Harry Potter book, knowing that it really was the last one
7. Forgetting to put a key ingredient in something I'm cooking
8. Opening the freezer to finish off my pint of Ben & Jerry's only to find someone beat me to it
9. Being cold, in freezing rain and wet clothes
10. Missing a friend
11. Losing a loved one
12. Finding out that Ed has still not been released on DVD
13. Being sick on Christmas
14. Flying in coach for 10 hours, while being able to see those in first class through the curtain
15. Anticipating an old childhood meal and having it fall flat
16. Visiting the home I grew up in and realizing that it isn't my home anymore
17. Losing faith in myself
18. Finally wearing out my favorite, most comfortable, I-never-look-fat-in-these jeans
19. Planning an all day hike, only to wake up with the rain pouring down with a vengence
20. Stubbing my toe or banging my head on random corners

My sad list was a lot harder to compose than my happy list. Probably because I'm a generally smiley person. And Darcie, I know you're shaking your head in disagreement, but once again, I beg to disagree with you.

***End with smug smile of satisfaction***

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

2008-03-14T07:25:00.001-07:00

Darling aren't they?

When you arrive home they are immediately at the door to greet you, nuzzling your legs, crawling into your lap, and purring up a storm. How could you resist stroking their soft, silky fur or scratching behind their ears? They knead softly on your lap while looking at you with their sizzling sly eyes. All of a sudden the hair on your neck stands up and you get a cold chill down your spine. For a fleeting moment you wonder if they might be plotting something against you. But then the kitties relax and resume their purring. They snuggle closer to you and curl up oh-so-sweetly on your lap, warming you and taking that chill right away. You shrug off that feeling of doom and slip into a false sense of relief and contentment.

Welcome to my life. I love my boys to death. But they don't always return the favor. At least not once they have received the attention they've been craving. Sure, they greet me at the door and cuddle with me on the couch when watching Lost or October Road. However, as nice as that may sound they have a devious side to them. And it never benefits me.

Their meow can compete with the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Just as nails slowly screech across a blackboard, so do their meows squeak out in the most grating and loud death howl you can imagine. And it doesn't happen just once. Or even twice. No, they can cry for an hour straight if they so choose. It really depends on how angry they are with me. Did I mention this typically happens at 4am? Yeah, exactly. They don't do it when I'm awake. They wait until I'm deep in my REM sleep before belting out their shrieking tune. Are they crying for any apparent reason? No. Their food bowl is overflowing, the water in their dish straight from the tap. So what is the reason behind their cry? My only answer is to test my patience as much as possible. And cause more stress lines around my eyes.

We have a plant. In our house. It is large and green and receives water whenever I remember. The boys are intrigued by this plant. A little too much. I should have known from the beginning that the plant in the house spelled trouble. But I trusted them and granted them access to the plant. Only to come home to find this: The boys had dug around the base of the plant, chewed the lower leaves, trotted around the house with dirt all over their paws leaving a nice brown trail in their wake, and rolled in the dirt, covering their entire bodies with grainy crumbs of soil. The look on their tiny faces when I discovered their dirty deed? One of pure joy mixed with contempt and a side of smug.

Fact: Cats have claws.
Discovered: Cats like to sharpen their claws.
Result: Cats sharpen claws on whatever they can find. Wicker furniture, bed spreads, couch, carpet, foam that the water heater rests on. Pretty much anything they can find, they will use. Destructive little beings. And they relish the fact. They will purposely sharpen their claws on my chair right in front of me, looking at me with an evil grin as they slowly lift one paw into the air, place it softly on the arm of the chair, extend their claws, and then pierce. So triumphant they are. And they know that even if I shoo them away they can simply come back when I'm asleep or away. My house is really under their control.

Moral of the story: Don't judge a cat by it's purr.

Wasting Away

2008-03-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

This might show you that I have too much time on my hands.

That I should be more productive. More...something.

But the sad truth is I'm not. I hate being idle, so I fill my time up by doing this. Perfecting my limited Photoshop skillz. Yes, skills with a 'z'. It's cooler that way, right? No? Well, I tried.

Laura got to be transformed into Hilary Duff because I know how much she adores her. ;)

My big sis got Kirsten Dunst because she already has the same face shape, so it was easy. Plus the hair is just cute!

Concert Sightings

2008-03-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I attended the Matchbox Twenty concert - which was incredible - but while waiting for the band to come onstage (and simultaneously killing time while the opening acts played) I partook in one of my favorite past times. People watching. Honestly, what is better than admiring the daring outfits or hairstyles of those who are sharing in the concert experience with you? Okay, besides listening to the concert, obviously.

I thought I'd share some of my sightings & eavesdroppings with you.

**Spotted!**
Slightly overweight woman in skin-tight, hot-pink dress stumbles her way across the floor with boyfriend in tow. Of course this wouldn't be extremely awful, except for the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. And it was incredibly obvious. To the point that the girl sitting behind me made the comment, "Do some people just not look in the mirror before going out? Maybe she doesn't own a mirror!" Her dad admonished her for the comment, which I don't blame him, as she was constantly spouting negative remarks about everyone and everything. But more from her later. The woman, however, was either completely unaware of her ensemble or fully aware and relishing it. Did I mention she had no jacket? Just her thin, jersey dress with narrow spaghetti straps.

**Seen & Heard**
Daring & bold! College girl struts by with indigo mohawk and chic glasses. What guts! What courage! What...was she thinking?? Okay, she actually rocked it well. And with confidence. The people sitting in front of her liked it so much they asked for a picture with her. She gladly obliged, with a smile on her face. Of course, Negative Nelly behind us had to voice her opinion on that.

NN: "Eww! Mom! There's a girl with a mohawk!"
Mom: "No...where? Is that a girl? Are you sure?"
NN: "Definitely a girl. And it's actually shaved on the sides!"
Mom: "Why would you do that!?"
NN: "Oh my gosh! That is so rude! Their asking for her picture! That's the rudest thing ever! I can't believe that! So rude!"

What I couldn't believe is how NN made fun of the mohawk sporting girl and then showed concern for her when others complimented it. The girl seemed in great spirits and I think if you're going to flaunt a purple mohawk you expect stares and comments.

**Witnessed**
Two hip, middle-age women rock out to Alanis Morrisette & Matchbox Twenty. They were swaying, grooving, clapping, and belting out the tunes. The women were having a blast, but one woman had brought her son and he was sitting unmoving in the seat next to his exuberant mom. Embarrassment? Perhaps. Although, he did liven up when Matchbox hit the stage. Back to my favorite lady, the one without the son. Man, was she fun to watch! She just couldn't sit still. Having the luxury of an aisle seat, she was out dancing and sashaying about. To steal from Shakira, her hips didn't lie. She was having the time of her life grooving to the beat. (stole from a few songs there) During an Alanis song she even shouted out an "F***, yeah!" for all surrounding her to hear. Whether she was sitting or standing, her arms were always waving and her hips were forever swaying.

**Overheard**
Now to my negative friend sitting directly behind me. Before the concert ever started she and her mom were running their mouths. "This better not be like the Daughtry concert." "It's just like Daughtry! He sang way too close to the mic!" "Does someone want to tell them their sound system sucks!?" "Who is this band? Their horrible! Maybe that was good, but oh, wow! You can bang on drums. Congratulations!" "Are we going to Daughtry when he comes back? I need to know so I can book it. That's why you need to be online everyday checking to see when the tickets go on sale!" Timeout. Weren't you guys just discussing how awful the Daughtry concert was? And now you want tickets to his next concert?

Mom to her daughter: "I'm so glad you like such a variety of music." Wait! Did I hear that right? Her daughter had just spent the last 10 minutes complaining about all types of music! Country, rock, pop, you name it. Didn't sound like she was very accepting of various music genres.

And on it went. But that gives an idea.

Oh how I love people watching. Brings a smile to my face. :)

Passing the Time

2008-03-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

Work has been a little slow for me lately. And I hate having nothing to do. So I made these. Viola! This is how I spend my time being oh-so-productive:

FYI...the bottom one I used a tutorial for and the top one I found a similar image & then recreated it from scratch. Gotta give credit where credit's due. :)

It Only Comes Once Every Four Years...

2008-02-29T13:50:00.001-08:00

Leap year. Such a glamorous day! I mean, this day is anticipated and hyped up for four years! And then it repeats its cycle all over again. Of course, I always have felt bad for the unfortunate souls who were born on this day. To feel like a birthday nomad every 3 out of 4 years must be truly upsetting. Yes, you would have the decision of celebrating on February 28th or March 1st, but it wouldn't be your true birthday. I'm sure it'd be special knowing you were one of the few to share the 29th of February as your day of birth, but I'd still feel lost during all the years that didn't have my special day.

Anyway, at bible study last night, one of the members in my group was trying to come up with something adventurous and exciting to do on this extremely memorable day. Her roommate had yet to accept her suggestions of driving to Canada (2 countries on the same day) or going sky diving (too expensive anyway). So I felt the need to toss out an idea.

"You could always go swimming in Green Lake. That would definitely qualify as daring." I said with a gleam in my eye.

"Yeah!" she said with a laugh, "And I'd still have the parasites with me come next leap year!"

Don't worry. I wouldn't dare to actually swim in the murky, slimy, algae filled water that makes up Green Lake. But I do think about it every time I drive by or run around the lake. I mean, it looks like they used to have swimming there. There's even a small stadium with bleachers looking out at the water. And it wasn't built with the intention of not being used for something.

The lake is great to walk, bike, run, or blade around. But I wouldn't dare to even touch my baby toe to the top of the deceivingly glassy water.

Some Days...

2008-02-26T15:15:00.001-08:00

Some days I'm slow
Lost in the laziness of life

Contemplative, reflective, and introspective
Focused on everything and nothing
Letting my mind roam here and there
Conversing with God
Wrestling with myself

Some days I'm active
Filled to busting with the chaos of life

Exuberant, joyous, and smiley
Full of energy, full of love
Flitting from one thing to the next
Inhaling deeply and laughing loudly
Unable to slow down and rest

Some days I'm melancholy
Restless about my future and what to do next

Dejected, depressed, and lackluster
Weary from the daily struggles thrown in my face
Caught up in self pity, loneliness, or sorrow
Filled with pain
Lost in regret

Some days I'm happy
Loving others and loving life

Bouncy, bubbly, and free
Reveling in the beauty around me
Rejoicing in the company I keep
Thankful for the life I lead
Consumed with optimism

Today, I'm simply content.

It's been a fun run...

2008-02-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day I can proudly proclaim "I'm 24." In a little over 16 hours, as the clock chimes 3:30 am, I will transform once again into a new age. Not that I will feel any different. But I will then be the dreadful quarter-of-a-century old. In honor of my last day as a twenty-four yearlite, I thought I'd post some pictures documenting a bit of what the last 24 years brought my way.

Obvioulsy I had to select only a few photos, but you get the idea. Sadly, many of my favorites have been scrapbooked and were therefore unavailable for use. But, what you get is a snapshot of me from a baby on up to college...I figure most present day photos can be accessed on my facebook account anyway, so there was no real need to include them.

Soaking & Chewing

2008-02-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

My church is currently doing a 12 week study on Philippians where we are encouraged to "soak" in it. Meaning read it straight through 3-4 times a week throughout the 12 week period. This way you absorb the scripture more than you would if you simply read it once or twice a month or a scrap here and a verse there. Who knows, maybe I'll come to memorize the entire book by the end of the series!

Anyway...here are several verses that were exceptionally thought provoking for me:

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Phil. 1:3-6

Praying with joy. What does that mean? What does it look like? How do I pray to God? Do I approach him humbly with joy in my heart despite my current circumstance? Sadly, most of the time I don't. I often send out blanket prayers or talk to God before going to bed, when weariness and sleep are claiming my body. Or I'm multitasking...driving, cooking, running. Whatever I'm doing, the point is I'm normally distracted by doing something else other then simply focusing all my attention on Him and connecting emotionally at a deeper level then I do when I just send up a quick thank you or "please pray for...." request. By praying this way, I lose the ability to pray with joy. To approach God with a heart of gladness and thankfulness to Him for all the blessings in my life. Even if it's been a bad day or I'm faced with adversity, I still need to take time out to joyfully fellowship with God. I yearn for it. And so does He. "

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." - Phil. 1:9-11

I want this so desperately. To transform more and more each day into the person Christ designed me to be! To love without bounds, embrace each day with celebration, lean into my longing to know Christ, become vulnerable and broken, to glean more knowledge from His Word, to lose myself and find myself all at the same time. Being filled with righteousness...it's almost something I can't understand because I feel like it will never be fully accomplished.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:" - Phil 2:3-5

I do this. I mean, I think I do this. Okay, I do this most of the time. Alright...some of the time, but I still do it! I honestly wish I could say this is something I do consistently, but often my motives are not pure. They are spurred on by the ugly, by self recognition or vanity. I do things because it's in my best interest, and sure it may be in the interests of others, but that isn't always the driving force behind my actions. I'm not saying I don't ever put other's interests ahead of my own. Because I do. Just not all the time. And that last sentence, "your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." It knocks the wind out of me because I know deep in my heart my attitude often doesn't reflect His. Let's just tack this on to my already expanding list of areas Christ is working at transforming in my life.

Wednesday Encounter

2008-02-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

I recently moved & consequently don't have internet yet at my new place. Which means, I am only able to blog while at work. Hence the lack of posting. However, I did want to divulge this little tidbit from my Wednesday morning.

Jen & I had to make a trek down to the Tully's in Pioneer Square...right by Quest Field...to pick up a substantial order of coffee to supply over 300 people for a company function. We pulled up to the Tully's, and thinking this would be a quick load & jet, we parked our car in the 3 minute load zone. Simple in and out, right? Not quite with us. We were overwhelmed by the vast quantities of coffee carafes, creamers, sugars, cups, teas, and any other item one may need in their morning coffee. Our 3 minute stint outside was going to be a bit longer and fellow coffee lovers were starting to get testy towards us and our coveted 3 minute load spot. But what could we do?

We foolishly assumed these Seattle drivers would understand our plight.

However, we neglected to think about this man. He pulled up next to us about the time we hit our 4 minute mark in the spot. Blinker flashing, he angrily waved his hand at us and scowled from beneath his sparse eyebrows. We flailed our hands back at him, signifying that we weren't moving. He sweared under his breath and whipped a fast U-turn, parking his car on the other side of the street in another load only zone. Furiously he slammed his car door and stomped his way over to us. Raving about how we needed a load permit and didn't we know there was a loading dock in the back for people like us? We apologized and tried to explain that we would be leaving in a few minutes, we were simply loading coffee for an event. But he would have none of it. As he departed from our car and into the nearest building he left these parting words, "If I get a ticket, I'm throwing a rock at your car!!" Seriously?

I would have loved to see him try.

And I don't know how he would have been issued a ticket. He was in and out of the building in about 45 seconds flat.

Needless to say, this guy made my day.

Creation at it's Best

2008-02-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures Ryan & I took at Sunset Hill in Ballard.

If you don't already know, sunsets are one of my favorite things. I just love reveling in God's glory as the sun shines and fades behind the mountain peaks, glistening gently on the water in hues of orange, pink, red, blue, and purple. It's moments like these when I am acutely aware of God's presence and his incredible beauty.

Weekend at a Glance

2008-02-04T13:33:00.000-08:00

Friday night was pretty mellow, which was greatly needed after one hectic week. I feel like by Friday I typically have no energy left and am simply content to just chill on the couch watching a movie instead of going out with friends. I tend to go to bed by 11 too, which, strangely, is something I relish.

This Friday, I spent hanging out at my older sister's place. She had apple cider ham brewing in the crock-pot (smelled so good in her place!) and whipped up scalloped potatoes to complement the meal. We drank champagne and sparkling cider and settled in for a night of conversing and watching movies. Plus, I brought over the most delicious cupcakes from Trophy Cupcakes in Wallingford...we had lemon-strawberry and chocolate-vanilla. Simply to die for! The frosting was so sweet and creamy and melted in your mouth. Basically after bite one you knew it was "no good" as my dad would say.

I spent the night on her couch and roused myself around 8am to head over to the gym to workout with my sister and our personal trainer, Kate. She's pretty awesome and encourages us to push past the pain and keep going even when we think we can't. After training, it was out to my parents for the weekend. My dad's 55th birthday was on Sunday, so I stayed the night there and attended church with them on Sunday. Ryan & Beau came out for the day too and we played an intense game of ladder-golf. Ryan & I started out strong as the team to beat, but after 2 victories we lost our momentum. In the end, my mom & dad took the ultimate victory. I guess it was our birthday present to him. ;) Then it was inside to view the best Super Bowl in history...at least in my history...that I remember. Simply unbelievable how the Giants pulled it off! Talk about a dramatic ending! We were cheering, high-fiving, and pumping our fists in the air. What a great way to end an amazing day.

Crazy Seattle Weather!

2008-01-14T11:37:00.000-08:00

I am a Seattleite…born and raised. I know the city well; the streets, the parks, the choice places to eat, picnic, boat, swim, or play sports. However, I will never even begin to understand the inner workings of the weather system in my glorious PNW. It is simply unpredictable.

On Sunday, the sun was shining brightly in the clear azure sky and it was a balmy 50 degrees. It was wonderful being outside and absorbing some much needed Vitamin E. I had almost forgotten what sunshine felt like on my skin. I spent the morning playing soccer and was running around in my shorts and T-shirt. It was simply that warm.

Yesterday was so dramatically different I wondered if I hadn’t been mistakenly transported to Alaska overnight. It was about 35 degrees and on my drive home it went from a torrential downpour on Lake Union to snow/rain mix at Montlake and finally snow in Bellevue. It was insane. By 7pm there was a light dusting of snow on the ground and it was still falling steadily. I went for a stroll to the nearest coffee shop with my sisters (Starbucks of course…which I hate…I know, raised in Seattle & hating Starbucks) and then tucked myself under a blanket with my hot cocoa steaming in one hand and a log crackling on the fire. Pure bliss.

Overnight the snow became ice, with treacherous black ice hiding itself on sharp curves and off-ramps. I exited my car at work and almost crashed to the cement because it was so slick.

Now, the sun is shining brightly once more and the remnants of last night’s blizzard/ice storm are fading away. Soon, Seattle will be back to its normal gray and sloppy self. Oh the joy of living in the convergence zone

Within a Breath

2008-01-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

That's how close I was to embarrassing myself at work today. I got up in typical fashion at 6:04am and proceeded to ready myself like normal. I showered, dressed, fixed my hair, makeup, ate breakfast, etc. Then I returned to the bathroom to brush my teeth. And thank goodness I did! As I was scrubbing away at the grimy plaque on my teeth, I noticed that my shirt looked a bit odd. The seam was a little thicker than I remembered, not to mention the color was just not as vibrant. Then it hit me. I had put my shirt on inside out! Definitely a B.I.H. moment for me.

In case you're wondering, B.I.H. stands for "Blonde in Hiding". My friend and I came up with it back in high school as an excuse for all our many lapses of judgement. We're brunettes, so we said we were simply blondes in hiding.

Needless to say, I'm glad I escaped the embarrassment of strolling around the office in a reversed shirt all day. But then, I could always claim it is "inside-out-day" and transport myself back to grade school. ;)

(This post was written yesterday, but I failed to post it in time to get the proper date stamp)

Just What I Need!!!

2008-01-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

My excitement is through the roof right now!

How did the inventor/designer of these know I had been yearning for this product since my first snorkeling trip when I was in 7th grade? How?? It's almost eerie...

You know you can't resist dashing to the nearest waterwear retailer and snatching these babies up!

Burning Nostrils: Only a Typical Girl's Night In

2008-01-09T09:05:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the rare pleasure of enjoying a girl's night in with my sister. We live together, but are hardly ever home at the same time for extended periods, so this was a treat.

In honor of this glorious event, we made enchilada's and guacamole for dinner. Homemade. The only way to do it. The enchiladas cooked up perfectly. Cheese bubbling and crisping on top of oodles of sauce and low-carb tortillas (we cut the fat where we can) filled with shredded chicken, cheese, and more sauce. The delectable scent alone was enough to cause us to start salivating. That is, if Laura hadn't decided to clean her bathroom.

I know what you are thinking. How could this be so bad? Normally, it wouldn't. But my sister is anything but normal. She has this theory that the more cleaning sprays, powders, and gels you use, the better the purging of the soap scum will be. This, however, is unfortunately not true. It only serves to create a stench so unpleasant to the nostrils that it sends one running for any source of fresh air they can find. We could hardly set foot into her room seconds after she poured the massive quantities of toxic liquids into her tub. It was almost unbearable. Of course, we had to shut the door to her bathroom and turn the fan on, in hopes of airing the place out. But that brilliant idea came to us later. After our leg gel debacle.

Yes, dear reader, leg gel. We discovered two packets of tired leg gel in the depths of one of my bathroom drawers. Eager to test them out, we ripped the packets open and drizzled the pepperminty pink gel all over our calves. As we began rubbing the slimy liquid into our skin, our nostrils began to burn again. Not from the Comet seeping from under Laura's bedroom door, but from the leg gel. Not only did our noses burn, but so did our legs. My guess is the leg gel relieves your sore & tired legs by lighting your skin on fire and poisoning you with noxious fumes. But that is only my guess. We left the leg gel on for about 20 minutes. Why? I cannot tell you. The fumes must have inhibited our ability to think properly. Finally we crawled our way to the bathroom, grabbed a wash cloth, lathered it in soap, and proceeded to cleanse our legs. To no avail. I'm afraid that leg gel is made of the same substance glue is. In fact, my leg still burns a little. And when I say burn, it is similar to Icy Hot, but at a much more intense level. Also, my jeans keep sticking to my skin. Not a good sign. Not to mention we put Biore strips on our noses, which if I'm going to do I might as well just get my faced waxed because I always feel like I'm stripping my face naked when I pull the strip off.

Despite the potentness of our apartment, singed legs, and baby-smooth faces, dinner was good and so was One Tree Hill. Yes, we are still teenagers in many ways.

I hope Laura didn't efixiate herself in her room last night. She has the master bedroom, which means she has the master bath. Extremely high fume content in there from her cleaning attempts....I'm sure you can imagine my concern.

In God We Still Trust

2008-01-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

I received the following song in an email from my mom today and thought I'd share. The song is amazing. The message...even more so. Enjoy! I know I did.

Apparently Diamond Rio put this song on their Greatest Hits CD, but since I don't have it, the song was new to me.

Disclaimer: If you don't like country, I apologize. But please give this song a listen anyway. :)

Copy this to your browser www.windomnet.com/web/nls/InGodWeStillTrust.wmv

Fresh Beginnings

2008-01-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

Why is it we all look at the "New Year" as a clean slate or chance to start over? Can't we do that anytime of the year? Why does it have to be January first? And do we honestly think the events of 2007 aren't going to impact us in our 2008 bubble? Do they all just crash to a screaming halt the second the clock chimes midnight, announcing the close of the previous year? And all of a sudden we are completely free of debt, loss, life changing choices, bad relationships, body image and self-esteem issues, and the like? Really? Just like that?

And why does the media place so much attention on New Year's Resolutions? Must everyone have a new goal for the year? Can't I set my goals anytime during the year? Why does it have to be done in time for January 1st? Why?

I guess I'm just jaded to it all. In my opinion, the New Year's holiday is right up there with Valentine's Day. I just don't understand it. At all. So much hype, just for the chime of a bell and the opportunity to shout out "Happy New Year!" for all your friends to hear. And of course, who could forget the excuse to imbibe in some alcohol. Because our society needs an excuse for that. Maybe I should anxiously await the dawn of each new day or the start of a new month. That should definitely warrant a reason to celebrate, right? Happy February! I mean, then I would be able to party 12 times at least during the year, because I'd be ringing in each month, not just the year! What a brilliant idea!

Except, I think it would get old. Just like having Christmas everyday. It'd lose it's excitement and would soon be viewed as a chore.

Sorry, sorry. I apologize for my lack-luster attitude towards the new and exciting year of 2008. It's not that I don't look forward to another year of growing older and hopefully wiser, but I just don't understand the hype around it. I'm sure the year will be filled with reasons to rejoice and celebrate, but I also know there will be times of mourning, anger, hurt, and frustration. Because, let's face it, good and bad are a part of life. We can never escape the bad things. But I will choose to focus on the good. And I do thank God for each day he gives me and the opportunities He brings my way.

Happy New Year everyone! ;)

Christmas Reflections

2007-12-27T07:31:00.001-08:00

Once again, this Christmas season was packed full of things to do. Between balancing work, soccer, family, and friends I felt like I had no time to really sit back and enjoy the Christmas season. Is that what happens as you get older? I miss the wonder and innocence that exists in a child during this wonderful season of our Savior's birth and hope that I recapture that when I have kids and am able to see the world through their eyes. Instead, I am consumed with buying the "right" gift for everyone (I always wander aimlessly from store to store, hoping to be struck by that perfect gift...where I'll see it and just know who it is for), baking cookies, wrapping gifts, helping my dad shop and wrap, and because of all that busyness I lose track of the true reason of celebration. It isn't until I slow down on Christmas Eve that I give myself time to read the Christmas story and just thank God for the wonderful gift he gave to us.

Anyway...aside from my musings, here is how my Christmas played out.

The Eve before the Day
Christmas Eve always consists of doing something with my mom's side of the family, and this year was no different. In the past, Laura and I used to hole ourselves up in the garage playing ping-pong all day, waiting until it was time to get ready for Christmas Eve service. We would create teams and brackets and fight it out in the cold detached garage with a fire blazing in the stove until around 3 or 4. However, we don't have that luxury anymore. This year, I went out to my parent's around 11, finished wrapping gifts with my dad, went on a nice 3 mile walk with my dad and the dogs, while my mom & Laura made various treats for the evening festivities. Then it was off to church at Cascade. The service was short. Full of music, singing, rejoicing, and of course, the children's choir. My favorite. Then Nate, our pastor, gave a brief message. And it had to be brief, as he was holding his 8 month old son on his shoulder the entire time he was preaching. His son, Isaiah, was actually their Christmas gift/miracle. For over 2 and a half years, his family has been praying and waiting and enduring the adoption of their sweet baby boy. 12 days before Christmas, they recieved the call, flew to Korea, and returned with their son. How incredible! It truly gives me goose bumps. God is amazing!

After the service, my family drove to my Auntie B's house in West Seattle and had a great time eating crackers & cheese, pork roast, mashed potatoes, applesauce (homemade & so good!), rolls, and the like. And of course, no holiday feast is complete without wine, champagne, and sparkling cider, which I had plenty of. This year, we donated money to the flood victims in our state and spent less on each other. It's not so much the gifts I care about, but the time spent with my family. Except for our tacky/white elephant gift exchange. That is something I look forward to more than anything! We were diving, clawing, tugging, tossing, and clinging to our gifts. I laughed uproarisouly at everyone's antics and even cried at points from guffawing so hard. In a nutshell, it was everything I could have asked for.

By the time our speeding bullet of a van arrived home, the clock was nearing 12 and Christmas Eve was on the verge of becoming Christmas day. We leaped out, struggled to carry all our gifts inside, and proceeded to read the Night Before Christmas, like always. BUT! This year...Laura emerged triumphantly from the basement with an old, worn film reel of the Night Before Christmas. Thus, we were greeted with a dilemma. Should we watch it now...or in the morning? But in the morning it won't really make sense, as it won't be the eve anymore. In flash we were down the stairs in the basement, setting up the projector, propping ourselves up on pillows and blankets, and settling in for a blast from the past. The film was horrible and corny, with awful effects, as expected. We laughed. We imitated Santa on his sleigh and laughed some more. I'm so glad we opened up that dusty, crackly film canister and enjoyed a remnant from the 1950s. So glad.

The Day that follows the Eve
Christmas day dawned bright and full of promise. Rain fell softly from the gray clouds in the sky and my hopes of a white Christmas faded fast. As is the norm, Laura and I arose around 9 and pounced on our older and much sleepier sister's bed to awaken her from her deep slumber. She roused...slowly. Then it was down the stairs to open gifts with the parents, who were already showered and in their bathrobes. Mom was mixing up hot cocoa for us all and dad was doing whatever he does. We settled in on the couch, packages were distributed, turns were taken, and soon all the pretty wrappings and ribbons glittered softly from the floor. After presents, we enjoyed a quick breakfast of sausage, eggs, and coffee cake. Then we raced out of the house to catch the ferry to Vashon. We paid for our passage only to be stopped by a fierce orange cone at the front of the line. We needed a miracle. No one wanted to wait an hour for the next boat. Then, with just minutes to spare, the cone leaped aside and we were granted the privelege of driving our car on board. Shouts of joy echoed around the car! We made it safely across the great Puget Sound and drove up the precarious driveway to my aunt & uncle's house. As we exited the car, the cold rain slowly began transforming into snow. Could this be a white Christmas after all? Time would tell. Inside the warmth of the house, we drank Tom & Jerry's, shared gifts, laughter, and stories, and even played a few games of pool. After a few hours, their yard looked like this:

Yay for the first white Christmas in a long while! I know it's not much, but to me, it was the best Christmas gift yet!

A Few of my Favorite Things

2007-12-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

That is probably my favorite song in the Sound of Music. Closely followed by Lizel singing "I am sixteen going on seventeen". I think I liked that song so much when I was younger because she had on a gorgeous, flowing, gauzy dress. And I wanted one just like it. And I wanted to sing and dance in a gazebo. In the rain. To a hot guy. Who in actuality, wasn't that hot. But I was 8. And to me, it was incredibly romantic.

Rain. I love walking in it. Running in it. Dancing in it. Falling asleep to it pattering on the rooftops, plip-plopping on the leaves of the surrounding bushes and trees, and splish-splashing into the puddles. Not to mention, I love stomping through the puddles. Yes, even at 24 years old. However, I don't like being freezing cold & wet because of the rain. But playing soccer on a grass field while the rain comes pouring down...I just don't know if there is anything better. Except maybe the bubble bath I take afterwards to warm up. :)

Fall days in Seattle. The air is crisp and clear. The leaves are brilliantly colored in deep crimsons, vibrant oranges, and glowing yellows. I get radiantly happy everytime I crush a fallen leaf with the heel of my boot or toe of my Jack Purcell. The crunching sound of the leaf hitting my shoe, letting out it's last final cry of pain, brings me unexplainable pleasure.

The smell & sound of old books. The musty scent as I turn each aged and fraying page. The crinkling sound the spine of the book makes as I bend it back and forth. Such a small pleasure, yet leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Even better is when I curl up in an oversized armchair with said book in a cozy, quaint bookstore and read. For hours. With hot cocoa or cider. I'm not a coffee girl. Never have been and I don't see it ever happening in the forseeable future, but I love my warm, coffee-free, beverages.

The elderly. I have such a soft spot for them, which is good because I feel like they are often overlooked by today's society, which glorifies the young and selfish and forgets about the old and wizened. I have a secret longing to play a game of chess in the park with an old man...hopefully he'll be wearing knickers and suspenders. Or just one of the two. And preferably this park will be in Germany. I think I got this idea from the Pixar short where the old man is playing a game of chess against himself. Hopefully one day this dream will be realized. ;)

Rocking out in the car to Backstreet Boys or Phantom Planet with my younger sister. Belting out the lyrics off key, in various accents (country, russian, valley-girl, deep shouting voices). We're pretty incredible and will think about recording that album someday.

Watching the fire in my fireplace as the flames swirl and leap in the air. This could entertain me for hours on end. And sometimes it does. Especially fun to watch on a cold, rainy evening while cuddled up in a warm, fuzzy blanket.

Amazing Grace

2007-12-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

I watched the movie "Amazing Grace" last night with my boyfriend and can now see why it is so highly acclaimed. If you haven't seen it yet, run, don't walk, to the video store. This is one you don't want to miss! Such a powerful story...that is actually a true-life event, so calling it a story always seems wrong to me. One thing I hate when discussing the Bible is that we always call them stories, when we are talking about real people and real events.

The passion Wilbur Wilberforce (yes, that is really his name) has is simply inspiring. He shows that one person really can make a difference. And even help to change the world. Just believe in the gifts God has given you and put them into action.

Fall Glamour Shots

2007-12-03T14:56:00.000-08:00

This year, for our presents for our parents and grandma, we decided to take some fun fall photos and have them framed. Here are some of the pictures that my cousin, Max (great photographer), took for us at my most favorite park...Lincoln Park in West Seattle:

Selfishly Concerned

2007-12-03T13:20:00.001-08:00

I sit here, at work, rain pounding against the windows and splashing into puddles, and all I can think about is "will this torrential downpour & flooding keep me from attending my much anticipated Switchfoot concert??"

I seriously hope not.

Neat to a Fault

2007-11-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

I am a neat person. I like things organized, swept, vacuumed, and in thier "proper" places. When I was younger my two sisters would come in my room and "borrow" (without my permission) an item of clothing from my closet and I could always tell when they had been in it. A hanger would be askew, a shirt missing, or a skirt hung in the wrong spot. And if my closet door was even slightly ajar, it was a dead giveaway. They would also shift things on my dresser & desk just to irritate me. I was pretty uptight about my room. Sitting on the bed wasn't allowed & I would make a huge dramatic show of smoothing out every wrinkle on my bedspread. Yes, I was that child.

I'm still pretty neat, but now my bedroom is not quite as meticulous as it used to be. Clothes tend to pile up on my chair into a small mountain as the week rolls on, but gets cleaned up on Saturday. But one thing hasn't changed. My closet. It is my sanctuary of cleanliness. My happy place. I still keep it organized as follows:

Sweaters are kept in the corner against the wall. They are itchy and bulky and are the outcasts of the closet.
The shirts are very rigid and aren't very welcoming towards new garments. Because of this superior attitude of theirs they are placed next to the sweaters and segregate themselves according to sleeve length and button up or zip-up.
Dressy tanks are the popular clique and hate mixing with the sweatshirts that border them on their right. I'll admit they are a bit stuck-up. They refuse to be hung on a hanger that does not have notches for their delicate straps to rest in. Otherwise they will slip off, one silky strap at a time.
The sweatshirts are typical jocks and reside in the middle of the closet proclaiming their dominance. They also like to be close to the beaded, stylish tanks, so they had ulterior motives about being placed there. The hooded sweats are one team, facing off with the zip-up sweatshirts and fleeces that are on the other side of the half-line. Determination etched in their stitching.
Next to the sweats are the skirts. They make a lot of flippant comments (pun intended) and tend to get ruffled easily by the jocks who like to tease them. Sending them into a fit and inevitably flouncing away.
Naturally, the dresses are next to the skirts. Arranged according to season...spring...summer...fall...winter. Lights to darks. They don't say much, as they tend to keep to themselves. Probably related to the fact that they are a whole ensemble on their own and only require accessories to dress them up or down.
Pants are clipped on hangers next to the dresses and are pretty passive and friendly. They don't have many enemies and seem to make friends wherever they go. Except when they start to fit snugly. Then they become enemies to the owner.
Finally we have the coats. But only a few, as most are stored in the hall closet. But here, here are the favorite jackets. The ones that aren't worn often, but know that when they are worn, it is for a special occasion. So they are a bit prideful and arrogant. But that is to be expected.
Oh, and one cannot forget the massive quantities of shoes that fill the closet. Hanging next to the luxurious coats, is a rack full of shoes...all styles. Stacked one on top of the other, as there are simply not enough compartments to hold them all. And then there are more on the shelf above the clothing in the closet. And more lined up in neat rows by my front door. Heels, wedges, peep toes, tennis shoes, athletic shoes, ballet flats, boots, Uggs. You name it. I probably have it. Yet, sadly, it still is never enough!

On top of my clothes being arranged so fastidiously, I also arrange each section by color. It is a kaleidescope of rainbow colors in my closet. Each grouping is ordered by red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, black, brown, grey, and white. If there are patterns, I pick the most dominant color and file them accordingly.

I'm ridiculously neat and ordered. I know. And I rejoice in that fact.

Faster than a Speeding Bullet

2007-11-29T08:59:00.000-08:00

November is almost over??? What??? When did this happen??? Are you kidding me? Only 26 days till Christmas? That's crazy!

Every year I ask this question. And every year I go through the denial. It seems the years just keep picking up speed. Maybe it's the fact that I'm aging. I mean, I'm almost 25, which is a quarter of a century old, which means I'm halfway to 50! Okay, Dani...don't think about that. Focus on your youth. Deep breath. Don't worry, I'm calm again. Maybe life really does move faster as you get older.

Whatever the reason, this year has hurtled by. And there have been tears, laughter, heartache, celebration, excitement, fear, doubt, and rejoicing. Here are some of the highlights of 2007 thus far:

January
I went to Disneyland with my good friend, Christy. I almost missed our flight, due to forgetting to set my alarm, but made it to the airport with 10 minutes to spare before take-off. We had a blast! Truly kids at heart. :) We went on rides, ate good food, had amazing talks, and made lasting memories.

I also began playing on a women's basketball team. We weren't amazing, but it was fun to get back out on the court and realize just how out of shape I truly was.

February
I took a photoshop course with my older sis. We didn't learn a whole lot of new skills, but the time spent together, laughing and writing notes via our computers, was just like being back in high school. Good or bad? You decide.

February also brought with it my 24th birthday. I celebrated in much the same way as I always do...quietly with family. I guess I'm just not that into celebrating my birthday like I used to be.

In fact, Feb is a month of birthdays for my family. I celebrated my Uncle's 50th birthday. Welcome to the Golden Years! He immediately retired. Set for a life of hunting, fishing, and mischeif making. My dad's 54th & my mom's 54th also ocurred this month.

March
I coached high school track & had a blast! Realized how much I love working with kids of all ages and what a joy they are. Definitely know that kids are in my future...some way...somehow.

I visited my friend in Pullman...Cougar country. First time in all my years at UW of ever venturing there. Realized why I had stayed away. Purple runs deep in my veins.

April
My baby sister turned 22. That's when it hit me...we are all growing up. So fast. We had fun celebrating her day of birth and reminiscing about all the stupid things we had done together in our past. Yes, we have truly reached that age. Where you look back and recount all the good times (and some of the bad), but we still look forward. With expectant faces, smiles of anticipation, and flickers of fear about the sorrow that will surely come too.

May
I went to The Killers concert with my sister & her boyfriend who was on break from the Marines. Originally, it was Laura, Julie, and I going to the concert, but we made our way all the way down to the WAMU Theater only to discover that the concert had been cancelled and rescheduled for the following weekend. We drowned our sorrows in beer and fries at Pyramid.

The first wedding of the year...Ryan's college friend Dave. Ran into an old, old classmate of mine dating back to 2nd grade. Nolan Erickson. What a small world that we were at the same wedding. Especially since I had no connection to the bride or groom, except through Ryan.

June

I flew to Spokane to meet my boyfriend and attend his best friend's (Mike) wedding. We had fun...Mike was a bit nervous the day of, so we made several stops on the way to the church for that one thing that cures and calms the nerves. Hard liquor. The wedding was quick and went off without a hitch. Before I knew it, I was back in Seattle.

June also brought my first trip to Vegas, where I played in a soccer tournament in 100+ degree heat. Fortunately, I drank water and gatorade instead of beer and margaritas like most of my team and managed to avoid heat exhaustion. Don't really have much of a desire to ever go back to Vegas. It seemed so fake to me...and I'm just not that into the clubbing and over-indulging that Vegas promotes so blatantly.

July

I played in the All Nations Cup (soccer) with Team Europe. We were sponsored by Soprano's, one of the best pizza restaurants around...check it out! Shameless promotion, I know. ;)

We made it to the championship game against Team America and won in a shootout, making us the 2007 Regional Champions. We got a medal and a plaque.

I also spent an entire day at the hospital while Ryan had his appendix removed. Did I mention it ruptured during the surgery? So scary! But it did give me a chance to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter and gang for an entire day, so how could I complain? I finished book 7 in less than a week. Cried at points, stuck my lower lip out in sadness and frustration, and finally conculded my love affair with Harry. It truly was a sad moment in my life.

Three days after Ryan's surgery, we journeyed to Creation NW. Not the smartest choice, but we still managed to have a good time. Great bands. Great speakers. Amazing communion with God.

August

I journeyed with Laura (sister) to Cle Elum, where we spent the weekend with my mom's side of the family in a gorgeous cabin on the river. We went rafting down the Yakima, played flyer's up in the field, laughed, ate, and relaxed. Already, I am missing that quiet retreat.

Played on a softball team, despite the fact that I despise the game. Actually had fun. I'll miss the dread that filled my soul and caused my heart to plummet before each game.

September

Ryan and I shared our one year anniversary by taking a short hike up to Rattlesnake Ledge. I learned that I had not conquered my fear of falling like I had thought and, with shaky legs, stood on a rock overlooking the edge and the lake below. I had to scoot out on my but, scraping my hands and legs in the process, and then stand up in order to reach the edge to begin with.

I joined a women's bible study at Bethany Community Church (check it out if you are searching for a place to call home). I'm so thankful for the women in my small group and the connections I am forging.

Dom married Mandy! Dom, Ryan's roommate of 7 years was married, leaving Ryan homeless and sending him back to Seattle. The wedding was gorgeous and we danced well into the night.

October
My family and I made our return to Maui and spent 11 days basking in the sunshine and relaxing on the beach. I went snorkeling, boogie boarding, swimming, hiking, and even zip-lining. It was a blast! Save for the fact that I cut my leg on lava rock on day one and had to get 8 stitches. But I didn't let that stop me from enjoying the trip.

October also brought with it the painful loss of a friend and mentor at my office. Greg, our lead architect and part owner, was killed in a head-on collision on the 26th. The news devestated our office. But we pulled together like never before and slowly began healing.

November

I attended a funeral that I never expected to be at...at least not for another 30 years....guess that makes 4 weddings and a funeral for the year. I would have much preferred not having the funeral.

Thanksgiving celebration at the parents! Good food! Great people! What more could I ever want?

December
Went to the Switchfoot/Relient K concert with Ryan. Sure, we fit into the older crowd, but that didn't take away from the incredible music and energy that both bands exude.

Searched for the family Christmas tree in the freezing cold sleet and snow. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

Brad married Adrianne and they couldn't have picked a more perfect day for their wedding to occur. The snow was falling all day and created a striking back drop through the large floor-to-ceiling window behind the altar at the church. If I ever have a winter wedding, I would want to make sure I had snow that day too!

Christmas! My favorite holiday has come and gone. And with it came wonderful gifts, amazing celebration, and priceless time spent with those I love most. It was the first white Christmas I can ever remember in Seattle. God gave me exactly what I aksed for. :)

That covers some things, but leaves out a lot. Here's to a great, yet trying, 2007. I'm looking forward to the next month and the celebrations it entails. Yet also excited for the coming year and the plans I'm already beginning to make for it. Mainly the travel that will occur. Planning trips to Haiti, Nicaragua, and possibly Greece & Southern Italy in September. Can't wait to see the wonderful things God has in store for me!

Wishing you all a joyous holiday season & hoping your past year was incredible. And if it wasn't, that's fine too. God holds you in the palm of his hand, so great things will come.

Simple Joy

2007-11-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving morning, my parents, Laura (younger sister), and I took advantage of the clear, crisp fall day and set forth on a walk around Tye Lake in Monroe. We parked by the Chocolate Moose - which was unfortunately closed - and proceeded to hike through several feet of tall grass. Okay, so Tye Lake is actually man-made. And consists of a smooth, paved path circling the lake. Perfect for walkers, mothers with strollers, bikers, and bladers. I prefer hiking through rough, rooty trails that have been solidly packed down over the years by hikers and walkers before me. Windy trails where I am constantly tripping or scraping my leg on something. BUT...we didn't have much time before our guests began arriving for the much anticpated turkey feast. So we had to settle for the 'fake lake walk'. Our dramatic nature taking charge, Laura and I tromped through the tall grass between the parking lot and beginning of the path, shouting out warnings, as the trail was extremely treacherous (sarcasm intended...however we are dramatic. That is just fact). There were a few brambles I forgot to warn Laura about, which she berated me for later.

So we began our stroll down the path, avoiding various pet droppings along the way.

While circling the lake, we noticed teal paint clinging to the reeds near the shore and were sad to note that people were dumping such toxic waste in the water. Laura & I stopped at the playground and I dared her to climb the play structure and go down the curly slide. Of course, she can't resist a dare. So she took her thin, 22-year-old frame up to the top of the play toy and I stood at the bottom of the slide, in order to spot her. Yes, we revert to being 5 & 7 when we are at home. And we relish the freedom. While Laura was struggling to squeeze herself through holes that were too tight and up ladders that were too small, a family of four approached the playground. The mother held the stroller with the baby, too young to play on the swings, while the father and son made their way to the play structure. The mother called out to her 3 year old son, "Watch out for the teenagers!" Of course, we aren't teenagers. Haven't been for years. But our antics and the fact that we are cursed with youthful features worked against us. The little boy ran over to the other curly slide, placed his hands on either side for support, and shouted up in a loud, sing-song voice "Teenagers! Oh teeeeeennnn-agers!" He was too cute.

Laura and I laughed and hurried away from the playground and back to our walk.

Further along we saw a flock of ducks swimming in the lake. One in particular stood out.
He would have blended in with all the other ducks, if not for one thing. He was twirling. The kind of twirl a little girl in a pretty dress does because she is enraptured with watching her dress billow out from her increased speed. This duck almost looked like he was stuck in a strong current because he just went 'round and 'round. Occasionally he would slow, re-orient himself, and then begin spinning all over again. He was free. He was blissfully happy. And you could tell he was getting immense pleasure from his newfound ability. The other ducks were even a bit jealous. There was a small huddle of 3-4 ducks watching the twirler and they appeared to be deep in conversation. Then, they began swimming purposefully towards my favorite spinning duck. He was unaware of their imminent approach and continued to spin in fast, tight circles. The herd of ducks swam determindley at him and ran right into him, knocking him off course and confusing his spin. The twirling duck stopped for half a minute. Swam a few feet away. And resumed his spinning. Apparently the jealous ducks didn't accomplish much.

It was really entertaining to watch and reminded me of all the simple pleasures in my own life. Like acting 14 again on a children's playground.
Thank you Lord for that simple reminder.

A Day to Give Thanks

2007-11-21T08:12:00.001-08:00

I have never really stopped & examined the origins of Thanksgiving. Yes, I know the "story". The pilgrims traverse the Atlantic Ocean on the Mayflower and arrive, proudly displaying belt buckles on their hats and shoes, completely confused by the lay of this new land and the odd crops it reaps. The natives (often referred to as Indians, despite the fact that they are not from India), sensing the foreigners inability to survive without help, stepped in and offered their superior knowledge. In return, the pilgrims shared their abundant crops with the natives. Feasting, laughing, and drinking well into the night.

At least, that's the story we tend to hear. But I wonder, what was it really like?

So, I did what any person equipped with the resources of the milennium would do. The library? no. Asked my older and wiser relatives? no. I went to...wikipedia. The source of all that is true. Because I agree with Michael Scott from The Office.

Here is what I found:

1. In the United States, Thanksgiving Day, always a Thursday, is part of four day long weekend which usually marks a pause in school and college calendars. Many workers (78% in 2007) are given both Thanksgiving and the day after as paid holidays, and others with leave benefits are allowed to take a vacation day.[1] After Thanksgiving Day, the day after is known as the unofficial holiday of Black Friday, the beginning of the traditional Christmas shopping season. Many retailers open very early (typically 5 A.M.) and offer doorbuster deals and loss leaders to draw people to their stores.

So apparently, Thanksgiving is all about the time off from school & work & the shopping frenzy that ensues afterwards. Interesting...my view of the holiday is now forever changed.

2. Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a traditional North American holiday to give thanks at the conclusion of the harvest season. Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and on the second Monday of October in Canada.

Okay. I like this definition better. Stems back more to the origins...giving thanks for the harvest. To being provided for. Not giving thanks to massive sales where people mob each other in order to get the "best" deal on the new X-box 360 or something else of material/inconsequential value.

Also, the pilgrims meal with the Native Americans was technically not the first Thanksgiving. The Native Americans had been celebrating the end of the harvest season for many years prior, but this was the first time they shared the celebration with outsiders. AND...horror of horrors...they didn't eat turkey, stuffing, or yams! It was meat upon meat. Deer. Fowl. Rabbit. Whatever they could hunt. And then of course, vegetables. Talk about eye-opening! ;)

Side Note: I just walked into the corner of my cubicle...basically the wall is at shoulder level and the point of the corner jammed into my bicep. I feel the bruise forming as I type. Typical me.

Glimpse of the Past

2007-11-14T19:15:00.000-08:00

Recently, for some reason completely unknown to me, probably a lapse of mental clarity, I decided to allow my boyfriend, Ryan, to journey through the past with me. That's right. I began reading my middle school diary aloud. To him.

What was I thinking?? Honestly, I still can't answer that question. And it haunts me. Night and day.

Actually, it wasn't too incredibly painful. It did bring up all those long dormant emotions of inadequacy, loneliness, frustration, and unrequited 'like'. Because, let's face it, it wasn't love in middle school. It changed monthly, sometimes weekly. I like Elliott. No wait, Ben. Oh he is so last week. Don't you know I like Jeff now? Keep up! A common theme threaded throughout my diary was how I had "no friends", which was true to some extent, but not exactly. I had a lot of friends, yet I didn't have any real close friends because this was a time when so many of them were choosing popularity over me. And I wasn't one to conform. I didn't hang out with people based on their social status. I was the one who would defend the nerd or eat lunch with the
'loner'. And those are the ones I'm still friends with today.

I also revisited a painful time in my life when I lost someone close to me. My papa (grandpa). I have been thinking a lot about life and death lately, having just lost one of my co-workers several weeks ago, so it was interesting to see my perspective on things back then and to compare it to now. I was actually a pretty smart kid. I recognized that my papa was in a better place because he was now with Jesus, yet I still mourned his loss. I rejoiced in the fact that I enjoyed 13 wonderful years with him, yet cried myself to sleep thinking about all the years he wouldn't be sharing with me, my nana, and my family. The graduations, weddings, great-grandchildren, and golden anniversary that he missed. I loved him fiercely and knew he would only want me to go forward, loving life, loving family and friends, and loving God as he did. It was definitely an interesting read. And my eyes filled with tears and voice cracked...just a hair...as I read that section. I had even saved the program from his memorial service and realized papa has 2 siblings I have never even heard of! Incredible! Definitely going to discuss that with my dad when I get the chance!

I also realized I have reached the point of healing over the loss of Greg at work. It is still sad to think about him being gone at such a young age. I didn't know him as well as I would have liked. I never worked closely with him, as I am not an architect, but I did have conversations with him at lunch, in the kitchen, or in the hall. He would come by my workstation and offer advice regularly. And I miss that. I miss his quiet presence and kind words. But I am also thankful for being touched by his compassion and gentle spirit, even if only for a brief period of time.

As my 8th grade self said: "The hole in my heart will heal, but will never fully recover." And to me, that is a good thing. A great thing. God is here. Always. Through the joy and the sorrow. And he heals. How amazing is that?

Lackluster

2007-11-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

I want to write something uplifting.
I want to write something creative.
I want to write something humorous.

Yet I feel none of these things.

I'm still dealing with a lot of emotions carried over from the previous week. I'm not upset. I'm not depressed. I'm just devoid of emotion in either direction.

I feel unmotivated, yet at the same time deeply introspective. I'm a quiet person in general, but I'm finding myself slipping into silence and escaping into the solitude of my thoughts more often lately. Thoughts about Greg. Thoughts about his family. Thoughts about my future. Sometimes just random thoughts about ridiculous things. I talk to God a lot in these times...wrestling, questioning, praising. Simply expressing my feelings to Him in any way possible.

I know I'm healing. I know life continues and I must move forward. Yet I hate the thought of losing these feelings of pain and grief because I wonder if that means I am forgetting the loss?

In the Face of Tragedy

2007-10-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a hard day. Probably the hardest day I've ever had to endure...at least it's in the top five. I'm still reeling from the news and will be for some time to come. But life keeps going on. Even when I want to shut down completely.

Which is how I felt yesterday. I think it's how everyone at my office felt.

Normally I wouldn't blog about work. But I feel this is the exception.

Yesterday, just a little after 8 in the morning, an office wide meeting was held. At it, we were informed that one of our four principals (bosses) had died in a head on collision sometime on Sunday. The news was a devastating blow to our office. He was riding his motorcycle - something he loved doing - and a semi-truck crossed the center line. Everything changed in an instant. It was so sudden and so unexpected I don't really even know how to process it all yet.

Our office is small (50 people) and everyone is close...more like a family. And this hit hard. Despite just being a co-worker, he was a friend, a mentor...not to mention a husband and father. We had just celebrated his 50th birthday on Thursday and we're laughing and joking together. He was just here and to think that he never will be here again is tough. Despite the sorrow that now blankets our office, there are rays of hope and love. Yesterday, we all came together at lunch and shared our memories about him...his humor...his quirks...his love for life and adventure...his huge heart and willingness to help everyone around him. Instead of being consumed by our grief, we let love shine through. And it was beautiful. Slowly we began to laugh again. Our smiles came easier and the stories lasted for almost 3 hours. It was a time of healing.

I know this week won't be easy. Or the next. In fact, the next year is going to be tough. But slowly our grief will fade. For joy truly does come in the morning.

We will keep putting one foot in front of the other. And slowly, we will emerge from the valley. And we will be stronger and more refined because of it.

Please pray for his family...his wife and daughter. I cannot imagine what losing my father would be like. I just pray that his family clings to God and lets the best healer of all provide comfort and peace and strength.

A Taste of Hawaii

2007-10-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

We love our Hula Pie...definitely the best dessert out there!

Ziplining...so much fun! :)

The Second Hula Pie of the trip...we probably gained 10 pounds eating it all!

Love my sis!

My family...minus mom :)

Seeking Sunshine

2007-10-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's been 5 years. If you want to get technical, it's been 5 years, 4 months, and some-odd days.

Since what, you ask?

Since I have made my glorious return to the beautiful, sunny, warm, tropical island of Maui.

And now, in less than 48 hours, I'll be back. To say I'm excited would be a bit of an understatement. Am I upset at leaving the gray, windy, rainy, 54 degree Seattle weather that I am currently enjoying? Not a bit. I love fall. But we all need a break from the bleakness of the impending winter season every once in a while, right?

So, I will soon be leaving on a jet plane for one of my favorite vacation spots. I will be tanning, swimming, snorkeling, boogie boarding, relaxing, playing shuffle board, hiking, biking, consuming hula pie, and taking a zip-line trip above Haleakala. So excited!

However, I am NOT looking forward to the fare airlines refer to as....food. I honestly am holding back a shudder right now. Okay, I lied. I'm not holding it back, but am convulsing at the thought of what is going to be offered to me on the flight. Here is a look at the menu I am so fortunate to select from:

To Begin:
Tossed Greens, Corn, Shredded Parmesan, Cherry Tomato and Caesar Dressing

Entrées:
Fajita Chicken Casserole
- OR -
Spaghetti with Marinara Sauce
-OR-
Turkey and Cheese Sandwich on a Kaiser Bun with Chips and Cookie

And After All:
Cookies

I don't want to even guess what the fajita chicken casserole contains...definitely brown bagging it! Just for the sake of comparison, here is a look at the menu for first class (same flight):

A Choice of Three of the Following Five Entrees will be Available for You
- Tomato Mozzarella Salad: Fresh Mozzarella, Basil, Tomato Salad with Pine Nuts and Calamata
Olives
- Tandoori Chicken: Chicken Tandoori Served with a Buttery Tomato Sauce and Sultana
Basmati Rice
- Spinach and Feta Roulade: Spinach and Feta Cheese-Filled Roasted Eggplant Roulade with
Sauce Pomodoro and Crispy Fried Risotto Marble
- Hawaiian Crabcake: Sautéed Hawaiian Crabcake with a Maui Gold Pineapple Salsa
- Fruit and Cheese Plate: Extra Sharp Cheddar, Gouda and Goat Cheese, Grapes and
Walnuts

And After All:
Caramel Macchiato

Why can't I fly first class? Oh, right. I'm poor. :)

I definitely feel like airplane food has gotten continuously worse in the past few years. I mean, part of the fun of flying used to be the experience of eating the food. And, it may never have been mouthwatering delicious, but it was decent. I remember having actual silverware to eat with. Now it is flimsy plastic forks and spoons that bend when you poke your chicken or meatball. And you expect me to eat with that?

I guess I miss the "good 'ol days". Am I really that old?

Well...despite the unsavory foods being offered, I will still order something. And I will attempt to swallow it. But, I make no promises!

Why I love my family

2007-10-02T09:58:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons why I love my family. The jokes, heart-to-heart conversations about any topic imaginable, generosity, acceptance, faith, love, belief in each other & one another's dreams. That's just naming a few. Although, finding someone who is willing to dance around your apartment while singing karoke to Bette Midler into the remote with you is also extremely rare....thanks Laura! ;)

Anyway....I thought I'd share some pictures depicting a small glimpse into my family's fun/crazy side. Laura and I tend to be pretty vain & enjoy taking random pics of ourselves...as might be noticed from some of the images below...

Sweetly Broken

2007-09-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

We sang this song in church yesterday and it is one of my favorite worship songs. It's one of those songs that touches my soul. Sends shivers down my spine. Brings tears to my eyes. Causes my voice to tremble. Raises goosebumps on my arms. All of those things and more. I just feel God's presence when I'm singing it. It's a wonderful thing.

Last night I mentioned how much I like this song to Ryan. He asked so insightfully "Why?" He always forces me to delve into the inner workings of my mind & heart and analyze my feelings and reasoning. So I thought about it. And I answered, "I guess it's because I long to be broken." Ryan studied me and responded, "You don't want that. It's incredibly painful. I fight against it all the time."

I wrinkled my forehead and squinted my eyes at him. Then slowly said, "Yes, I fight against it too. But isn't that what we should be striving for? To have our will broken by God? To have our sinful nature removed, our pride & anger & bitterness broken by Him. It's what my heart longs for."

Ryan agreed. His point wasn't that we shouldn't be striving for brokeness, just that the road there is extremely difficult. And often we hold tightly to our selfish desires and maybe allow God to crack one area, but not fully break it open. We rationalize so we don't have to surrender all to Him. We meet God on our schedule and ask Him to fix the areas of our lives we feel are falling apart and then say "thanks God, but I don't think that needs repairing right now. I'm quite happy with the state of my relationships, so you just focus on helping me get my bills paid off and I'll be set." Then we walk away. We ignore the still small voice in our heart because we think our way is easier or more fun or we just don't want to put out the effort. I do that way too often.

I know the process of surrendering and breaking is difficult, yet at the same time, I look forward to it. Does that make me weird?

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken

To the cross I look
To the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness(2x’s)

Chorus

One Year Later...

2007-09-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a little over a year since Ryan and I started dating, and as cliche as it sounds, it's been the best year of my life. I cannot describe how incredible our relationship is. I never thought I would be so comfortable, open, and vulnerable with anyone, but Ryan makes it so easy. We can talk about anything...be it as trivial as who is better at cards (I am - we're super competitive) ;) or talking about life and God - praising Him, grieving with Him, fighting against Him (just a losing battle there), or struggling in our faith. Ryan also can point out my negative qualities and I don't actually get upset or defensive. Incredible steps for me! And if I do, it's only because I know he's right. Ryan also has the amazing ability to always make me smile...no matter how badly I wish to remain mad, I just can't when I'm around him.

Anyway, for our anniversary we went hiking up Rattlesnake and then made a brief stop at Snoqualmie Falls on our way home. Can you believe Ryan had never been there? I mean he has lived his entire life in the PNW and had never been to the Falls!! I was shocked, so I made him stop! :)

The view from the top!

Snoqualmie Falls

I really like this pic :)

Food for Thought

2007-09-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

I've recieved this email before and it struck home then just as much as now. I don't think it could have been said better then this. Please read. And read till the end. Even if you've read this before, it might have more of an impact the second or third or even twelfth time. I struggle with these same thoughts daily. What is our nation coming to? How free are we? Why are we turning our backs on God?

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a manger, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards.

Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

I hope this gets you thinking the way it has me. The next question is, what are we going to do to change things?

Digging, Building, Serving, and Rolling in the Mud

2007-09-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

My parent's church held an event entitled 'ServeFest' this year, which my family chose to participate in. The entire church shut down on Sunday and instead of worshipping in the sancutary chose to extend our worship and talents outside the walls of our building and into the community. There were a variety of activities/service projects to choose from. Ranging from painting school playgrounds, filing, planting trees/flowers, and building benches to cleaning headstones at the local cemetary, doing a plethora of odd jobs at the fairgrounds, or building houses for low income families. We chose to build houses, as my dad is quite the craftsman and felt it would be something he could contribute on. We were told we would be doing siding and trim work. But apparently that was almost completed by the day ServeFest arrived. So what did we get to do? We dug holes for piping and spread dirt in the garage to prepare it for paving. On a normal day this would have been fine. And it was fine. But it was also pouring rain, so digging holes in a torrential downpour...let's just say it makes for some very dirty people. It doesn't help that my sister and I just enjoy getting dirty, so we "fall" in order to muddy ourselves up even more. Not that we needed it. Also, by the time our hole was complete (8 feet deep by 5-6 feet wide) the rain was coming down hard and the runoff from the roof of the house was causing our hole to flood and fill with water. Oh well! We had fun doing it anyway!

Dad, Laura, and I after a long day of digging and shoveling

Our mom isn't nearly as dirty...she was inside doing caulking all day!

Our jeans...before we hosed them off.

Removing the grime

2007-09-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

Apparently I am on a bathroom kick in my blogging. Not sure why that is. Obsession? Fascination? A little of both? Whatever the reason, I had a pretty incredible revelation while cleaning my shower the other day and felt the need to share. Now...here it is...get ready to have all your life transformed....

People are like showers!

I know! Unbelievable insight I have, right? However odd it sounds, it is pretty accurate. We are like showers in the way that a shower builds up grime, dirt, and bacteria. This grime is not always visible. Often we can go for weeks without giving our shower a thorough scour, and even then, we may miss those hard to reach corners or just give up because that highly acclaimed "elbow grease" we are supposed to have just isn't enough to power through the dense layers of scum. Then, finally, when you think your shower is perfectly clean and you are staring out the sparkling white tile and shiny knobs, congratulating yourself on a job well done, the grime starts to grow again and threaten your pristine walls and crystal clear glass door. It would seem that the job is never done. You are always having to wash it, scrub it, disinfect it. Inspections are done regularly or maybe you decide its just not worth all the hassle and give up. Letting the dirt take control.

Does this sound familiar? Does it sound like you? I know it sounds like me.

My heart is very much like a shower. I am constantly having to clean out the filth I let cling to the sides and manifest in the corners. Often I don't even recognize the things that are making me unclean, but God always has a way of pointing them out to me. Often subtlety. Sometimes more forcefully. He is aware when I'm not. He is always on the lookout for the grime in my life and wants to purify me and make me whole again. When I get rid of one thing, such as pride or anger, God is quick to show me another area that needs my attention. Very much like a shower, my heart is never clean. Just like my shower constantly needs my attention, so does my heart. I'm a constant work in progress and have resigned myself to the fact that I will always be that way. ;)

But it's so rewarding to scour off, layer by layer, the scum and grime that has built up and to know that I am getting closer and closer to being sparkling white.

The Unspoken Rule of the Women's Restroom

2007-09-06T07:45:00.001-07:00

Note: This blog will most likely be understood by women, as men have a much easier time in public bathrooms than we do.

You enter the restroom and cautiously give a gentle push on one of many stall doors. It budges. You feel it is safe to swing the door wide open, only to pull back in disgust. The toilet is either clogged, covered in toilet paper, or just plain disgusting. You obviously can't use that stall. So you move to the next. It's possible that a repeat of the above situation occurs or you find the selected stall occupied and are forced to search elsewhere. Finally you find an empty, fairly clean stall to use.

I believe there is an unspoken rule where you must go in at least one stall before actually settling on one. At least, it happens to me constantly. And I doubt I am the only woman who has this problem.

Another thing I just don't understand about public bathrooms is the toilet paper. Whose idea was it to invent tissue thin toilet paper that disintegrates the second you touch it? Someone must be getting a huge laugh over it! I mean, what good is toilet paper that just shreds in your hand when you try to pull it off the roll? I always am forced to jam my hand up into the toilet paper dispenser and carefully slide the roll around until a sufficient amount of paper is dangling from the spool. Then, and only then, am I free to victorioulsy detach the 3-4 squares of TP I have freed from the roll. By the way, this process is simply too involved for the paltry reward. Is it really that expensive to use 2-ply toilet paper? I know that this tissue supplied in most public restrooms is supposedly better at breaking down (however, despite the fact that it falls apart in my hand, I almost always find 1-3 clogged toilets in the restroom...), but even a thicker 1-ply would be nice.

Hopefully, things will change. I look forward to the day when I enter the bathroom at Barnes & Noble and am greeted with soft to the touch, quilted toilet paper, instead of the sheer, paper substance I currently find.

Lack of Motivation

2007-09-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

I am a horrible blogger. No, don't try and convince me I'm not. I am quite aware that it's true. ;)

I thought when I created this account I would actually use it. Instead, I'm rarely signed on and post a disjointed thought about once or twice a month...if that. However, I've been thinking about it and I wonder if it really even matters if I write some bland story about myself. I don't even know if anyone views my blog or finds what I write a mite interesting, so should I just let myself get lost in the black hole that so many blogs are consumed by? Perhaps. Or maybe I should buckle down and take 10 minutes a day or every couple days to post something half exciting. Okay...maybe not exciting...but most definitely random or strange. I am constantly amused or entertained by things throughout my day and my mind is always struggling with God about something. Consequently, I should find something to ramble about for a paragraph or so. Be it stories from my childhood (and there are many...paperdolls...blading to the Little House on the Prairie Theme Song - and creating routines for it...spying from our secret hideout....this list could go on forever, but I'll keep some of the mystery alive for now. ;) ), thoughts about life, observations, rants, or praises to God, I should have at least something to write about!

Sometimes I just want to delete all my posted blogs and start from scratch. Who knows...maybe one day I will! :)

Joy among Suffering

2007-08-31T13:40:00.000-07:00

I am a pretty optimistic person. You can almost always find me smiling. And if I'm not, just crack a joke or make a silly face and I will probably burst out laughing. However, lately it's been a little harder for me to laugh. There are still a lot of wonderful and amazing things occurring in my life, but there have also been some not so wonderful things....

I recently found at my Uncle Bob (dad's sister's husband) has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Hearing this basically knocked the wind out of me and brought immediate tears to my eyes. Especially when I heard that it was Stage 4 - the most severe. In Stage 4, the cancer has spread from the lymph nodes and invaded the bone marrow, liver, and other vital parts of the body. Thinking of my uncle being attacked in this way depresses me incredibly. He is tall, funny, strong, quiet, witty, and most always laughing. I hate to think of how the treatment is going to sap him of his strength and strip the weight from his lanky frame. But I cannot imagine Uncle Bob being angry or bitter and I know that he will fight this with everything he has within him. And God will do the rest.

I hate cancer by the way. Of all illnesses it is probably my least favorite. Mainly because it has touched my family just one too many times. It ravishes people's health and it always seems to be the victor - at least in my family's case. My mom's dad died from lung cancer, my papa (dad's dad) died from melonoma, and now my uncle has Hodgkin's. I have seen how it silently creeps up and steals your vitality away. I don't want to watch it happen to another person I love. Fortunately, I have God on my side. I don't know where I would be without my faith. I hurt for those experiencing pain and sorrow who do not have God to lean on for comfort and support and I continually pray that they will accept the great gift that Christ offers us. There is no one who is better at wiping our tears away and giving us hope and strength to endure.

On top of this news, I learned that my dad's cousin has Parkinson's. She lives on the property behind my parents and I worked for her husband, Nick, for awhile doing data entry. She is an amazing cook (Nick is Greek, so she whips up delectable Greek treats), but now her dexterity is digressing and it is becoming more difficult for her to do the daily tasks she enjoys so much. She also has started shuffling when she walks. It kills me to see such a vivacious and active person lose these abilities, but she is staying positive and presses on with determination. I pray that this disease will progress slowly.

As I was driving to work today, one of my favorite Casting Crowns songs came on the radio and definitely applies to how I have been feeling:

Praise You in this Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

-Chorus-

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

-Chorus-

It is such an incredible song to me! To keep praising God, even when all the pains of life are weighing so heavily upon us is such an amazing thing! This song and MercyMe's song "Bring the Rain" depict so well the mix of joy and sorrow that often are conflicting in our souls. Just incredible and moving to me. :)

I'm still smiling and laughing amongst this bout of depressing news. But I'm also more pensive and prayerful, which I find to be great blessings. My prayer life needs to be more active than it is and these events have definitely helped propel me closer to God.

Sleep is Overrated...

2007-08-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

I used to tell myself that. In fact, I used to believe that. Back when I was young and energetic...you know, when I was still in college. I used to be able to function on 4 hours of sleep. Now I find myself craving 7, 8, or 9 hours. Where did my youth go? Has it vanished? And what will happen when I reach that dreaded, quarter-of-a-century age that is 25?? My legs don't bend as easily as they did when I was 21...my knee pops when I run...my vision has steadily declined in the last several years...and worst of all...I don't go out at night. I find myself choosing to stay in on the weekends instead of venturing out into the wonderful world of clubbing, drinking, and socializing. Going to the movies and out to dinner...that's fine. But can I have the early-bird special, please?

Anyway, along with my physical weariness comes something much more serious. I find that I am spiritually weary as well. I spend less time in God's Word then I used to. And I don't have any good reasons as to why that is. I am working at building better habits and using my vast quiet time to commune with God, but often I feel distant from Him. And I wonder if I will ever be close again. I know it is in these times I need to cling to Him tighter then ever before, but I feel like my grasp is slipping...as if I have no strength to hold on. I know that I love Him completely, but I don't treat God like I should. I mean, He is the one who loves me more then ANYONE ever will! How incredible is that??!! I should love Him more than anyone too. But I often place other things and people ahead of Him. I take my best friend for granted because I do the things I want to do (even when I know I shouldn't) over following Christ. How selfish I am! How can he keep loving me? Amazingly and thankfully, He does. It's marvelous to have such incredible love in my life. So, I know this spiritual weariness is only passing. An opportunity for me to draw closer to God. To just rest in his presence. Because rest is what I need. Rest will allow me to be filled with strength again. Physically, our bodies need rest. We sleep at night so they will recover for the obstacles the next day presents. So it makes sense that our spiritual selves need rest too. We thrive on rest. And it is when we are resting that I believe we hear God clearer then ever because the noise of our lives is not surrounding us and filling us up. Only God is filling us up. And He fills us with the things we need most. He breathes life back into us. So I will relish the rest that God is asking me to take. :)

And I will embrace sleep. It's definitely not overrated. :)

Climbing to Total Exhaustion

2007-08-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went on what can hardly be described as a hike with my parents. I was home for the weekend, the weather was relatively nice (partly cloudy with sunbreaks...typical Seattle), so my dad & I decided it was perfect for a walk up in Lord's Hill Regional Park, situated just up the hill from my parent's property. We informed my mom & then headed out to round up the dogs. Or at least one of them. My parents have a golden retriever and a St. Bernard. Madison, the retriever, is a great walking dog. She could walk all day and night if you allowed her to. Shenzi on the other hand, is large. Very large. 120 lbs large. She may act like she's the size of a terrier, but she's not. She'll bowl you over in a heartbeat. But she also hates being left out of things. So when she saw us loading Madison into the back of the Subaru, she became slightly jealous. She eyed the car, then made a clumsy dash to the trunk and flung her girth into the trunk with Maddie. My dad and I looked at each other and attempted to pull Zee out...but she turned those glistening, sad eyes on us and we melted. Zee was coming on the walk. If we had known how things would turn out, she wouldn't have come. Unfortunately, God didn't give us the ability to see the future. :( So she came.

Lord's Hill Park is basically a trail system through the woods that accommodates walkers, runners, mountain bikers, and horseback riders. There are no grassy areas with picnic tables and barbeques. It's pretty natural as far as parks go. So, we entered into the trail system and decided to do the long loop down to the river and then back up and around Temple Pond and back onto the main pipeline trail. It was long, but not too arduous. However, there were a few steep climbs on our way up from the river and halfway through the walk, Zee began to pant. I take that back. Zee pants after taking about 10 steps. But there are several categories of panting when it comes to Zee, similar to a hurricane or tornado. Her panting was about a category 3. Not too bad, but definitely dangerous. We ignored her cries for water and forced her onward for another hour or more. None of us really took notice of her condition until we were about 15 minutes away from the entrance to the park. By this point, Shenzi's tongue had grown several inches longer, was dangling precariously out of her mouth - it looked like a roll of bubble tape had unrolled out of her - she was foaming uncontrallably, and her eyes were glazed over. We could tell she was in trouble. Somehow we made it up the final hill to the car. Shenzi collapsed to the ground and began breathing extremely fast. I was worried. I didn't want anything serious to happen to her, but I think we were already to that point. She had heat exhaustion. My dad found 2 bottles of water in the car and began pouring water into Zee's mouth. Not much made it down her throat though, as her tongue had swelled to match the size of her mouth. My dad and I had to lift Shenzi into the back of the car because she didn't even have strength left to stand up. We zoomed down the hill to home. The race to save her life was on! Zee wobbled out of the car on her own accord before crashing to the cement in the shade. My dad began spraying her down with the hose to cool her body temperature and eventually, after several hours, Shenzi began perking up.

I guarantee Zee won't be so eager to hop in the car next time.

The Curse of the Silver Screen

2007-08-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to get the distinct impression that I am not welcome at any of the local cinemas. Maybe I should stop viewing films in theaters altoghether and just watch from the comfort of my own apartment. Why do I think movie theaters are out to get me? Mainly because I'm cursed. Okay, I'm being a bit dramatic (that is my way...ask anyone), but these things don't just happen to anyone. I guess I should start back at the beginning...at least the first time I ever noticed that theaters don't like me.

It was my first date with my ex-boyfriend. We went and saw the movie "The Hot Chick". I honestly cannot say why he picked that movie, but he did, and I went. There were maybe five other people in the theater. We walked down the aisle and finally settled on sitting dead center. It wasn't by anyone else and wasn't too far back or forward to cause any discomfort in viewing the film. We had just relaxed into our seats - feet propped up on the chairs in front of us, so as to keep our feet from becoming permanently glued to the sticky mess that was the floor - when a teenager, probably around 16 or 17 came into the theater. He had the entire theater at his command...there were seats everywhere. But he must not have noticed it. Maybe it looked packed to him. Because he came down my row and sat directly next to me. I'll admit that it made me slightly uncomfortable, but I am a friendly person and am probably too nice for my own good. I said hello. Mistake number one. He immediately started talking to me about the film...he had already seen it and loved it. He knew I was going to like it. And of course, he had to inform me of all the "funny" parts before they actually happened. Did I mention he spit when he talked? Yeah. A lot. All over my left arm. Everytime. My boyfriend at the time just sat there, trying not to laugh. I was to polite to change seats. So I endured the whole movie with this guy sitting on my left, leaning into my personal space (I like my bubble, thank you!), and providing me with a shower of spit throughout the entire film. Then, when the movie finally ended, he walked out of the theater with me, chatting the entire time...all the way down the hall...into the lobby...out the door...and to his car. So that was my first interesting movie experience.

Later in this same relationship, my boyfriend & I went to the movies again. Not sure what the film was...but I do remember the person sitting behind me. During the previews he sprawled across 3 seats and began vomiting onto the floor directly behind me. My eyes went wide with shock and disgust and I had to quickly suppress the urge to throw up my own dinner. I turned to my boyfriend, we barely glanced at each other before we were on our feet moving to a different seat. At least 10 rows away from this guy. He probably had enjoyed himself too much at Hooters before coming to the theater. I don't know. All I could see that night was rivers of vomit cascading down the carpeted theater stairs and pooling around my white Jack Purcells.

Since these first two disturbing movie experiences I have other problems. Sitting next to the guy that emanated the smell of marijuana from every pore...fire alarms going off during the middle of Pirates (this happened twice...not at the same movie)....rowdy teens who make it their goal to drive as many people out of the theater as possible by their obnoxious screams and loud chatter....but that is not the worst of it. Recently, I went to see Ratatouille. I loved the film. It was creative, humorous, romantic, cute, and enjoyable. But I did NOT like the father sitting three seats down from me. His two daughters were sitting on my left and would not stop talking/whispering throughout the entire movie. But that was fine. I could handle their outcrys of "this is my favorite part!" or "I love when all the rats cook together!", but their father was far less polite. Let me state that it was a packed theater. In the middle of the film, his cellphone rang. Instead of politely turning it off as quickly as humanly possible or exiting the theater to answer the call, he decided to slowly reach for his phone, flip it open - illuminating the entire theater with the blinding white LED light - and actually say "hello" to the person on the other end. Of course, it would be too polite to stop there. Here is what I can remember of his conversation at the movies:

"Hello" "Yeah, I'm at the movies." "Oh, I'm seeing Ratatouille with my girls. How are you?" "No way" "I was going to do that tomorrow, but I'm not sure how things will shake out." "Let me know how it goes."

He talked to his phone friend for a good 3-5 minutes IN THE THEATER. Who does that?? I mean, I guess I know the answer to that question now, having witnessed it, but I seriously could not believe he had the nerve to just carry on a conversation in the middle of the theater like it was his own home. And he didn't have a quiet voice. I really wanted to start throwing my popcorn at him to send the message that what he was doing was rude & distracting. Unfortunately I was all out of popcorn. I guess I could have chewed my Sour Patch Kids up and then tossed them...Calm down, Dani, just calm down. Okay, I would never actually throw anything at someone in the movies...unless I knew them...then maybe. But only maybe. However, I really wanted to!

Anyway, is it just me? Or do other people have similar experiences at the movies? Because I'm beginning to think I am cursed. I find these experiences entertaining to a degree..at least it makes for a memorable night out! But I sometimes wonder if God enjoys putting me in these situations...I mean, it is definitely forcing me to work on patience!

A little less female, please!

2007-07-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate being female. Especially at particular times of the month when emotions run higher and tears seem to come easier. That's currently where I am at. And I get irritated. Especially with Ryan. I just don't understand why he always has so much energy to do things with the guys, but when it comes to hanging out with me, he is always tired and would prefer to nap instead of get outside and enjoy the day. Do I wear him out? Just by looking at me? I feel like all we ever do when we get together is sit on the couch and watch Seinfeld (which is a great show, but not how I would choose to be spending our time). So when I hear about all the fun things he is doing with the guys and how he "wishes I was there" I get jealous. And upset. And I think "yeah right, you wish I was there. You never want to do those things with me. If you did, we would be doing them!"

I like him a lot. And I'm really low maintenance. Most of the time. But once a month, I find myself acting more "girly" then I would like.

I know this is ranting a bit, but I felt the need to get it out and posting it on this blog seemed like the best and safest way to do so.

Backpacking Through Europe...

2007-07-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

One of the best adventures of my life...so far!

I just got these photos from my cousin & simply wanted to share them. These are some amazing scenery shots from our trip to Europe last fall.

Amazing Sunset on our drive from La Spezia to Vernazza in Italy

The Forum in Roma

Vernazza - one of the towns in the Cinque Terre in Italy

Trafalgar Square in London

Crossing the Thames in London

Roma!
View to the Basilica

More 7 Summits - the Final Trek

2007-07-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I realize I have yet to finish my story of the 7 Summits of Seattle. So here goes... :)
After reaching the third summit (First Hill) we stopped for a quick lunch at Swedish Hospital. It must have looked odd to passersby, seeing a bunch of weary walkers perched on the cement planters in front of the hospital munching on PB&J sandwiches and carrots. But that's where we ate. It was actually a good rest stop. I mean, if at this point anyone happened to be injured, they could just stop into the ER and be fixed right up. Also, the bathrooms were free...after traveling through Europe where public restrooms are extremely scarce, you have to appreciate that! So, after eating (and taking some pics) we were on our way to the 4th summit...the water tower at Volunteer Park in Capitol Hill.

I forgot to mention that our group split apart at this point also. Randy and Matt decided to head to Denny Hill first and then up to Capitol Hill (a more difficult trek, as you must go downhill and then climb back up), but the rest of us decided to go the easier route to Capitol Hill first. So...things started off okay, but then disaster struck! After walking just a few blocks, Max's ankle began causing him pain. Not just a little pain. A lot. He was limping pretty badly. Now Clarence is a doctor, so he wrapped the ankle as best as he could, but we all felt Max would be better off if he dropped out of the hike. However, he refused. He's hardcore! So, he struggled on and eventually made it to Volunteer Park with the rest of us. Upon reaching the park, Laura and I decided we needed to quickly climb up inside the water tower before continuing on. My dad climbed up with us.

Laura and I were pretty tired by this point (as can be seen in our pic above) but we weren't going to give out anytime soon. When we were finally done with our long photoshoot, we noticed that everyone in our group had already left the park to go to Denny Hill. Now, my dad has only done this walk once before and Laura & I were rookies, so we were a bit at a loss on where to go next. After wandering in what we hoped was a path that would lead to the rest of the clan, we finally gave in and called the others. They told us their cross street, but when we reached it, they weren't there. We would have thought they would have stopped so that we could catch them, but that was apparently not on their minds. So we had to call again. This time we specifically told them to wait for us. They did. Kinda. Anyway, point is we caught them. Max's ankle was only getting worse, but he bravely continued on to Denny (this hill no longer exists, but we stop for our hill photo in front of the Moore theater). On the way to the Moore, Mom, Ruth, and I made a detour into the Bon/Macy's women's lounge. I felt extremely weird walking through the department store in my Keen's with a backpack on my back. If I were in Europe it would have been fine, but it's just odd being viewed as a tourist in your own city. Anyway, we met up with the rest of our group at the Moore and then continued on to the Seattle Center for another snack break. From the center we began the long climb up Queen Anne. After going up about 7 flights of stairs, we made it to the top of Queen Anne. By this point, Max was beginning to break and finally decided to drop out of the race. He remained behind at the Starbucks on Queen Anne (Auntie B stayed with him). The rest of us continued from Queen Anne, down the Goat Trail (horrible trail!), and then across the bridge to Magnolia, where our final water tower was. After walking 24 miles in 9 hours we finally reached our destination!

Laura and I collapsed from exhaustion at this point. ;) So...you would think our walk was done. Not quite. We still had to walk from the Magnolia water tower, past Discovery Park, to the Locks where our cars were parked. Laura, Ruth, and I finished in the lead and when the cars came into view, we suddenly (and miraculously) found energy to run to the cars. What started out as a slow jog, soon turned into a quick stride, and then Laura & I, being the competitive beings that we are, began sprinting. I beat Laura, but she was close on my heels. Ruth decided it wasn't worth her energy to sprint after us (I have a feeling she would have beat us both and just wanted to keep our egos in-tact). Then came my dad, Clarence, Bob, Randy, and Matt. Finally my Mom & Matt's wife came limping in together. My mom's knee had started flaring up when descending the Goat Trail, so she hobbled the rest of the walk out. And Matt's wife was fighting similar injuries. But they made it. After making it into the cars, stripping our shoes & socks from our feet (Clarence said to put our shoes back on...I think they must have smelled bad), and comparing blisters, we made our way back to West Seattle where we enjoyed scrumptious burgers and beer at the Elliott Bay Brewery in the junction (oh, we also picked Max & Auntie B up from Starbucks).

What a day! Whew!

Counting my blessings

2007-07-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

It's so easy to go through life and not really notice life. I know I'm guilty of it on many occasions. I get so wrapped up in all the trivial things going on around me that I don't take time to appreciate all the wonderful things and people in my life that God has blessed me with...Amazing family...great friends...wonderful boyfriend (he always brings a smile to my face)...beautiful surroundings. I mean, I live in a place that has abundant streams, rivers, lakes, and is close to the Sound...the mountains surrond me on all sides...it is GREEN....can it get any better?? Plus, I live in a country where I can openly worship Christ & sure, I may be judged by others or laughed at, but that's about the extent of it. How incredible is that?? So why do I so often ignore God's presence around me? Is it because so often it's gray and drizzly here?

I am finding that it's a lot easier to recognize my blessings and praise God when it's sunny outside. God's beauty just seems so much more magnified to me. For example, traffic just builds up on 520 on a gorgeous day because everyone (at least this is my theory) is pausing to stare transfixed at Lake Washington, sparkling in the sunlight, with Mount Rainier rising gloriously behind it. I know I would gaze at it all day if I could. It's just so incredible how God contrasts such power & might with amazingly delicate beauty. I love it! Basically I just love reveling in God's creation...which gets a little dangerous when I am driving because I get distracted from the road...but most of the time it is done safely! But on a cloudy or rainy day, I rarely have a problem moving quickly across 520 (eastbound...westbound is ALWAYS bad). I mean, do people really want to stop and watch the wind blow stormily across the lake, creating large waves that splash angrily over the side of the bridge? Okay, I do. I think that is incredible too...I mean, what strength & power God has! It just shows us another side of Him. I love how nature reveals so much about God to us!! But it's harder for me to just thank God after a week of rainy weather. I get gloomy and don't stop thanking Him, but definitely do it less frequently.

Anyway...point is, I am extremely blessed and I take that for granted WAY too much!

Vegas Trip 2007 - In slideshow form ;)

2007-06-29T08:28:00.001-07:00

Click to play Make your own Smilebox

So many things...

2007-06-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't been writing in quite awhile (if you view my myspace blogs it will be pretty obvious) and I'm really not sure why that is. I can't really say I've been too busy to write because that would be a lie. I have plenty of time. Instead I fill my time by watching TV - which I justify because I'm being "social" (not really...how social can you be while watching television? But at least I'm watching with someone, right?) or I'm playing soccer or hanging out with my friends/Ryan. Anyway, I should really be using my idle time to immerse myself in God's Word or spend time in prayer, just talking to God. I'm really a bad friend to him. I mean, God is my best friend, but you wouldn't know it by looking at the way I treat him in return. It's horrible. Definitely has to change. The thing is, I really want it to change, yet I keep letting all the distractions of life take over & God just takes a back seat. How much that must hurt Him! Here He is, waiting all day for me to acknowledge Him, talk to Him, share everything with Him because He cares for me that much. And what do I do? I withdraw. Shut myself off. Tell Him I'll hang out with him later...I mean, I have time right? Do I? Do I really have time? How selfish can I be?? I really get disgusted with myself when I think about how little attention I give Jesus each day. I can't keep pushing him off until the last few minutes of the day, when I crawl into bed and say "Okay, Jesus. Now I have time to talk to you...but only 5 minutes. I'm kinda tired." I bet He's pretty tired of waiting on me.

Anyway, that took a bit of a divergence from what I had planned on writing.

Basically my plan was just to give a bit of an update on my life. I'm playing in the All Nations Cup in July. It's a soccer tournament that will be held at Starfire in Tukwila in mid-July & I'm really excited for it. I'm playing with Carrie on Team Europe and our team is pretty fun. I like the people on it & enjoy our coach a lot. It's kinda like being back in college...just having that more professional aspect back. We even have a team sponsor who got us some really sweet jerseys. I'm excited to wear them. :) So that's about all the news on the soccer front for me.

Laura & I have been shopping around for a new place to live. We're getting a little tired of the commute to Seattle from the Eastside and have been searching around the Ballard/Greenlake area, so if anyone knows of a 2 bedroom available, please pass it my way!! But it kinda needs to take pets...which makes our search a little bit more difficult. But I know God has something out there for us. We definitely won't be living on the streets. If worse comes to worse, we'll be back at the parentals for awhile. But we have plenty of couches we can crash on too. :) Anyway, prayers for us to find a place would be greatly appreciated!! Somewhere that is safe and not too sketchy preferably....

Oh! After 5 long years I am FINALLY making my return to Maui!! I will be taking a trip for 10 days in October and I cannot wait!! Sun, sand, surfing, boogie boarding, snorkling, hiking, swimming, tanning, shuffleboard (don't mock it!)...yeah...it will be great!!!! Anyway, just had to share my excitement there. :)

High Expectations?

2007-06-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Today is my 8 month anniversary with my boyfriend. Now, I'm not that kind of girl. The one who celebrates every little milestone/event in the relationship. And I have not yet even spent any of our "month" anniversaries with my boyfriend. But he normally visits for an hour or so on Wednesday nights on his way home from hanging with his friends, so I thought that I'd actually see him today. So...seeing as it was an anniversary of some sort, I went out of my way & baked cookies just for him as a surprise when he showed up. But...he never came. Decided just to go straight home. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal to me, as I am pretty laid back about this stuff. But the fact that I had done something for him and was looking forward to seeing him enjoy the cookies, on top of the whole "I'm PMSing right now" was a little much for me & I got emotional. As I tend to do sometimes. He called, said he was going home and I proceeded to play the guilt trip card. I'm extremely good at guilting people, which is not a good thing. Doesn't make me feel good about myself and definitely doesn't make the other person feel too great, but I can't seem to stop. I know that I'm doing it, yet only a small part of me REALLY wants to stop. The other part is urging me on. Telling me to hurt them as much as they hurt me. So I guilted him. Let's just say the phone conversation was not the least bit enjoyable for either one of us. I was barely speaking...just the occasional "yeah" and "that's nice" (with little/no emotion behind my words). While he was trying to keep the conversation going, but was pulling back & getting quieter & quieter due to the fact that I was slowly closing myself off from him. That's what I do when I get hurt. I shut down. Pull away. Sulk. I just can't deal with the problem immediately because I need time to let my feelings marinate & stew, so that I can properly prepare myself for the confrontation. Otherwise I get sullen & indifferent. I try not to let on that I have been hurt, but the second I hang that phone up the tears start rolling down my face. Tonight was no different. Plus it's almost that time of the month, so crying just happens to come more easily. I guess what really irritated me was the fact that he said he went home because he had no gas left & didn't think he'd make it to my apartment with what was in his tank. Well, I don't think there is that much difference in distance from his exit to mine versus his exit to his condo. And if he has no gas, what does he intend to do to transport himself to school/work in the morning? Because how could he possibly have enough gas to get from his condo to the gas station??? I mean that extra mile to my place was obviously too much for him, so I just don't see how that drive to the gas station is going to happen. I know, I'm getting a little nasty. But it was SO NOT a viable excuse for me. Because, let's face it. You HAVE to get gas at some point, so what difference is it if you pay tonight or tomorrow??? Obviously he just didn't want to see me tonight. Happy 8 months. Great way to celebrate the anniversary. Yeah right.
I'm still angry and still crying a little, so I'm gonna turn out the light and hopefully sleep will set in. I just can't deal with this emotionally right now. I'm sick of always being the one waiting. He wants to get together tomorrow night, but in my current state I just can't do it. Don't have the energy to see him right now. I'm just numb.

Hiking the 7 Summits of Seattle

2007-05-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, May 12th, twelve adventurous souls set off from Duamish Head in West Seattle and began the trek across the city. I was one of these daring climbers. ;) Okay...it wasn't that dangerous, but it was pretty grueling. The group of us met down by Salty's on Alki (where the divers always are) at 8am and took off on a walk around Seattle that lasted for most of the day. After posing for a few group photos, we were ready to start off on our "mini-adventure".

Our first "summit" was the watertower near Charleston Street in West Seattle. We almost reached the tower, when two of our group members mysteriously disappeared. They spotted a garage sale and once they saw tackle boxes & fishing reels, there was no stopping them. Of course, one of these men was my father and the other his good fishing buddy and my aunt's boyfriend, Clarence. We lost them for a good 15 minutes. They finally returned having purchased a tackle box with all sorts of "amazing flies" inside. Guys. They are all the same. Complain about how much women shop...honestly!! ;)

From the water tower, we walked across the overpass that marks the entry into West Seattle...by the "people playing on logs"...if you're from West Seattle, you know what I'm talking about. ;) I did discover that it is apparently against the law to hang banners from the overpass bridge...I of course, being the law breaker that I once was (I outgrew it) have hung a banner from the bridge before....it was years ago, so maybe that law didn't exist back then? I honestly don't see the harm in hanging a peice of paper from the bridge exclaiming things like "Happy Birthday, ----!" or "Welcome Home, Sgt. ----!" I mean, where's the harm in that? Are we going to ban everything fun? Okay...random tangent! Back to the walk!

After crossing the overpass, we headed down to Spokane Street and walked to Beacon Hill...this was probably the worst stretch of the walk, simply because the entire trek is underneath the West Seattle Bridge and is just dirty, smelly, and loud. I didn't exactly feel safe down there. But I also know that God is always watching out for me, so I really had no reason to be afraid. Plus I was with a large group if anything did happen... ;) My cousin and I ended up caught in the center pack, but were spread out between the trailers and the leaders...almost like we were walking alone. We didn't know the route we were going, so we were just guessing based on our knowledge of the area...and glimpses of the front runners. Finally, we made it to the second summit: Jefferson Golf Course in Beacon Hill.

I should say we reached the second summit after taking an added stroll through the Veteran's Hospital parking lot that looped us around the actual golf course...this only added another .5 miles to our walk. No big deal! ;) So...we reached the golf course & of course Clarence had to buy some Rainier cherries (that guy is a shopper!) Although, admittedly, they were delicious! After hitting the restrooms, eating some granola bars, and taking more photos we were ready to proceed to First Hill. Oh, and Laura & I donned our Tie-dye for some photos at Jefferson Golf Course...we're hippies at heart. :)

As we were departing the golf course, Laura, Max, & I spotted a playground. Our eyes lit up with excitement. Then it was a race to the merry-go-round (where you run around while pushing it & then jump on). There was pushing, shoving, even some tripping. But we made it uninjured...bruised but not bleeding. ;) We spent a good 10 minutes playing on that thing! I'd forgotten just how enjoyable it was! After getting 10+ photos on my dad's camera, we were ready to make the trek through the lovely area that is Beacon Hill/Rainier...but not really! One of the highlights of that particular stretch of the walk was the "party" house that Laura & I gifted to Max...it was a rundown home with a front porch that had a torn up couched (that looked like mice or rats were living in it) on the porch...the paint was peeling...the steps were rotten. And did I mention there were Bud Light banners plastered all over it??? Not to mention all the abandoned beer cans & bottles in the front yard. Yeah, it was a keeper.

As we were descending the hill to cross over I-90, Laura, Max, & I began to feel someone stalking our steps...by this point our group had stretched out again & we were left alone with no other walkers around us. We glanced over our shoulders and saw a guy tracking us a few yards back...he had mysteriously appeared at the beginning of our stretch in Beacon hill. Trying to play off the fact that we were a little scared, we gave nervous smiles to reassure each other that we weren't worried and then made a mad dash for the next stopping point, where Bob, Ruth, and my mom were waiting for us to catch up. Breathlessly, we told them what had happened and they just laughed at us! Of course, our fears were completely unfounded, but a little compassion would have been appreciated!!

Stopping for now...still gotta write about making it to First Hill, Capitol Hill, Denny Hill (no longer a hill due to the massive regrading of Seattle), Queen Anne, and finally Magnolia.