Sweetly Broken

We sang this song in church yesterday and it is one of my favorite worship songs. It's one of those songs that touches my soul. Sends shivers down my spine. Brings tears to my eyes. Causes my voice to tremble. Raises goosebumps on my arms. All of those things and more. I just feel God's presence when I'm singing it. It's a wonderful thing.

Last night I mentioned how much I like this song to Ryan. He asked so insightfully "Why?" He always forces me to delve into the inner workings of my mind & heart and analyze my feelings and reasoning. So I thought about it. And I answered, "I guess it's because I long to be broken." Ryan studied me and responded, "You don't want that. It's incredibly painful. I fight against it all the time."

I wrinkled my forehead and squinted my eyes at him. Then slowly said, "Yes, I fight against it too. But isn't that what we should be striving for? To have our will broken by God? To have our sinful nature removed, our pride & anger & bitterness broken by Him. It's what my heart longs for."

Ryan agreed. His point wasn't that we shouldn't be striving for brokeness, just that the road there is extremely difficult. And often we hold tightly to our selfish desires and maybe allow God to crack one area, but not fully break it open. We rationalize so we don't have to surrender all to Him. We meet God on our schedule and ask Him to fix the areas of our lives we feel are falling apart and then say "thanks God, but I don't think that needs repairing right now. I'm quite happy with the state of my relationships, so you just focus on helping me get my bills paid off and I'll be set." Then we walk away. We ignore the still small voice in our heart because we think our way is easier or more fun or we just don't want to put out the effort. I do that way too often.

I know the process of surrendering and breaking is difficult, yet at the same time, I look forward to it. Does that make me weird?

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken

To the cross I look
To the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness(2x’s)

Chorus