Joy among Suffering

I am a pretty optimistic person. You can almost always find me smiling. And if I'm not, just crack a joke or make a silly face and I will probably burst out laughing. However, lately it's been a little harder for me to laugh. There are still a lot of wonderful and amazing things occurring in my life, but there have also been some not so wonderful things....

I recently found at my Uncle Bob (dad's sister's husband) has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Hearing this basically knocked the wind out of me and brought immediate tears to my eyes. Especially when I heard that it was Stage 4 - the most severe. In Stage 4, the cancer has spread from the lymph nodes and invaded the bone marrow, liver, and other vital parts of the body. Thinking of my uncle being attacked in this way depresses me incredibly. He is tall, funny, strong, quiet, witty, and most always laughing. I hate to think of how the treatment is going to sap him of his strength and strip the weight from his lanky frame. But I cannot imagine Uncle Bob being angry or bitter and I know that he will fight this with everything he has within him. And God will do the rest.

I hate cancer by the way. Of all illnesses it is probably my least favorite. Mainly because it has touched my family just one too many times. It ravishes people's health and it always seems to be the victor - at least in my family's case. My mom's dad died from lung cancer, my papa (dad's dad) died from melonoma, and now my uncle has Hodgkin's. I have seen how it silently creeps up and steals your vitality away. I don't want to watch it happen to another person I love. Fortunately, I have God on my side. I don't know where I would be without my faith. I hurt for those experiencing pain and sorrow who do not have God to lean on for comfort and support and I continually pray that they will accept the great gift that Christ offers us. There is no one who is better at wiping our tears away and giving us hope and strength to endure.

On top of this news, I learned that my dad's cousin has Parkinson's. She lives on the property behind my parents and I worked for her husband, Nick, for awhile doing data entry. She is an amazing cook (Nick is Greek, so she whips up delectable Greek treats), but now her dexterity is digressing and it is becoming more difficult for her to do the daily tasks she enjoys so much. She also has started shuffling when she walks. It kills me to see such a vivacious and active person lose these abilities, but she is staying positive and presses on with determination. I pray that this disease will progress slowly.

As I was driving to work today, one of my favorite Casting Crowns songs came on the radio and definitely applies to how I have been feeling:

Praise You in this Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

-Chorus-

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

-Chorus-

It is such an incredible song to me! To keep praising God, even when all the pains of life are weighing so heavily upon us is such an amazing thing! This song and MercyMe's song "Bring the Rain" depict so well the mix of joy and sorrow that often are conflicting in our souls. Just incredible and moving to me. :)

I'm still smiling and laughing amongst this bout of depressing news. But I'm also more pensive and prayerful, which I find to be great blessings. My prayer life needs to be more active than it is and these events have definitely helped propel me closer to God.