It was my first date with my ex-boyfriend. We went and saw the movie "The Hot Chick". I honestly cannot say why he picked that movie, but he did, and I went. There were maybe five other people in the theater. We walked down the aisle and finally settled on sitting dead center. It wasn't by anyone else and wasn't too far back or forward to cause any discomfort in viewing the film. We had just relaxed into our seats - feet propped up on the chairs in front of us, so as to keep our feet from becoming permanently glued to the sticky mess that was the floor - when a teenager, probably around 16 or 17 came into the theater. He had the entire theater at his command...there were seats everywhere. But he must not have noticed it. Maybe it looked packed to him. Because he came down my row and sat directly next to me. I'll admit that it made me slightly uncomfortable, but I am a friendly person and am probably too nice for my own good. I said hello. Mistake number one. He immediately started talking to me about the film...he had already seen it and loved it. He knew I was going to like it. And of course, he had to inform me of all the "funny" parts before they actually happened. Did I mention he spit when he talked? Yeah. A lot. All over my left arm. Everytime. My boyfriend at the time just sat there, trying not to laugh. I was to polite to change seats. So I endured the whole movie with this guy sitting on my left, leaning into my personal space (I like my bubble, thank you!), and providing me with a shower of spit throughout the entire film. Then, when the movie finally ended, he walked out of the theater with me, chatting the entire time...all the way down the hall...into the lobby...out the door...and to his car. So that was my first interesting movie experience.
Later in this same relationship, my boyfriend & I went to the movies again. Not sure what the film was...but I do remember the person sitting behind me. During the previews he sprawled across 3 seats and began vomiting onto the floor directly behind me. My eyes went wide with shock and disgust and I had to quickly suppress the urge to throw up my own dinner. I turned to my boyfriend, we barely glanced at each other before we were on our feet moving to a different seat. At least 10 rows away from this guy. He probably had enjoyed himself too much at Hooters before coming to the theater. I don't know. All I could see that night was rivers of vomit cascading down the carpeted theater stairs and pooling around my white Jack Purcells.
Since these first two disturbing movie experiences I have other problems. Sitting next to the guy that emanated the smell of marijuana from every pore...fire alarms going off during the middle of Pirates (this happened twice...not at the same movie)....rowdy teens who make it their goal to drive as many people out of the theater as possible by their obnoxious screams and loud chatter....but that is not the worst of it. Recently, I went to see Ratatouille. I loved the film. It was creative, humorous, romantic, cute, and enjoyable. But I did NOT like the father sitting three seats down from me. His two daughters were sitting on my left and would not stop talking/whispering throughout the entire movie. But that was fine. I could handle their outcrys of "this is my favorite part!" or "I love when all the rats cook together!", but their father was far less polite. Let me state that it was a packed theater. In the middle of the film, his cellphone rang. Instead of politely turning it off as quickly as humanly possible or exiting the theater to answer the call, he decided to slowly reach for his phone, flip it open - illuminating the entire theater with the blinding white LED light - and actually say "hello" to the person on the other end. Of course, it would be too polite to stop there. Here is what I can remember of his conversation at the movies:
"Hello"
He talked to his phone friend for a good 3-5 minutes IN THE THEATER. Who does that?? I mean, I guess I know the answer to that question now, having witnessed it, but I seriously could not believe he had the nerve to just carry on a conversation in the middle of the theater like it was his own home. And he didn't have a quiet voice. I really wanted to start throwing my popcorn at him to send the message that what he was doing was rude & distracting. Unfortunately I was all out of popcorn. I guess I could have chewed my Sour Patch Kids up and then tossed them...Calm down, Dani, just calm down. Okay, I would never actually throw anything at someone in the movies...unless I knew them...then maybe. But only maybe. However, I really wanted to!
Anyway, is it just me? Or do other people have similar experiences at the movies? Because I'm beginning to think I am cursed. I find these experiences entertaining to a degree..at least it makes for a memorable night out! But I sometimes wonder if God enjoys putting me in these situations...I mean, it is definitely forcing me to work on patience!
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